On New Year’s Eve we did an early count-down celebration with the girls. At the suggestion of a friend who was visiting, we asked them if they had a favorite moment or thing from the year that they remembered. Amy said it was dressing up as a ballerina for Halloween. Sarah thought for a while and then said the ball pit at Idlewild. Wow. I am impressed with both of them. What is notable about Sarah’s answer is that she came up with her own instead of saying something similar to Amy’s.
The thing that most stands out for me when I think of 2015 is that it is the year Sarah learned to read. We are no longer doing word cards. For Christmas I got Sarah a writing tablet that is basically an electronic slate. There is a stylus pen for writing and then when you want to clear it you press a button on the screen. That is it. I thought she might like to practice writing on it. I didn’t predict how wonderful it would be for practicing reading. I can bring it to wherever she is and write messages to her and she can read them, usually without much help. Having it be electronic means I don’t have tons of paper to recycle or store. Having it be so much simpler than an ipad means that Sarah isn’t tempted to do anything else with it because there is nothing else to do.
Our Christmas travels were wonderful and sometimes challenging. The girls are amazing travelers now and the only difficult part of driving long distances is getting them back in the car after a rest stop. The most challenging parts overall were probably the nights. We celebrated our Christmas at home a day early and then at my mom’s on the actual day. This meant two nights where the girls were eager for the next morning. Sarah spent most of the day on the 23rd saying she wanted to wake up early. In the middle of that night she woke up and wanted to open presents, but it was truly the middle of the night. She finally went to sleep again. I woke up at 5 for no apparent reason and couldn’t get back to sleep. Amy woke up at maybe 6 and she and I opened our stockings together. Carl and Sarah slept in till 7:30. So much for Sarah waking up early. Since the girls can read all of our names they made fast work of the pile of presents. Then we drove to Philadelphia. At bedtime on the 24th I made the mistake of mentioning that the next day was Christmas. Half an hour after the girls were in bed they emerged ready to start the festivities. We finally got them back asleep. At 4:52am on Christmas morning Sarah decided it was time to get up. I said no. In hindsight I should have just gotten up with her easily so that only two of us would have been awake. Instead, my resistance led to Sarah screaming and then Sarah, Amy, Carl, and I were all up. We had a small breakfast. Carl and Sarah went back to bed. Amy and I stayed up. We learned our lesson by the time we did Christmas at my dad’s house so presents were opened in the afternoon.
Normally Sarah only has middle of the night parties (that last 1-2 hours) once or twice a month. Starting with our first Christmas eve and continuing through last night, the parties have been roughly ever other night. I am hoping this is just due to travel and excitement. My concern is that it is food related but we have added several new foods (some small) and since I didn’t notice any problem with her skin or belly I thought we were fine. Maybe we are.
This whole food business is so interesting. Every time I add something new I feel emotional in multiple ways. I have low level panic and embarrassment over adding something processed in any way or not homemade in every way. I also feel relief at expanding Sarah’s options so that she can travel more easily and eat at other people’s houses or restaurants more easily. While the pinnacle of healthy eating might be for me to make absolutely everything from scratch, I’m not sure that is the pinnacle of emotional or spiritual healthy living, at least for me. I have to repeatedly counsel myself that it is ok that she is having whatever new thing she is having, assuring myself, “it is food! it is ok! it is even healthy food by most standards! The worry is because such food was off limits for so long but it is really really really ok. It is food.” I have to say this even when the food in question is a banana. Or an egg. Or homemade whole wheat bread. Or organic fruit leather. The new things Sarah has had since I last wrote: fruit leather, chocolate ice cream made with coconut milk but not made by me, puffed rice cereal, Grey Poupon mustard, Heinz ketchup (regular with corn syrup (ack!!) and organic with organic cane sugar), fries at rest stops (made with either canola oil or corn oil) and ****ghee*****!!!!!! The ghee was yesterday. That is our first tiny step towards dairy. So far so good, unless the night party was related. But night parties happened even when her food was unchanged for months on end it is hard to know.
Sarah’s fingers have been in pretty good shape. I took her soap with us on vacation and even brought it into the rest stops with us.
I just read Glennon Doyle Melton’s Carry On, Warrior. I believe that a friend recommended this to me years ago and then it sat on my shelf for a while. I am so glad I read it. It is beautiful and raw and honest and inspiring. I highly recommend it for anyone struggling with anything and seeking to be kinder to themselves while being fully fallible and human.
Sarah is such a delightful social person. She certainly still has times of being exclusive but they are rare. If grownups are around then she wants to be talking with them, climbing on them, connecting with them. This isn’t new, but I have been appreciating it and marveling at it.
Amy has started to be able to open doors by herself. This is awesome. Her coloring is also getting much more careful and specific when she wants it to be.
As we navigate re-entry into regular home life I am trying to be gentle with my impulses to either ignore the mess or to get a dumpster and throw out half our our belongings. New toys and books are so wonderful! I just need to weed out some of the old stuff (at least storing it in the basement) to make room. In past years I have done this preemptively and that would have been helpful had I done so this year.
I am deeply aware of how blessed I am in my amazing life filled with deeply amazing and wonderful people. Thank you all for being in my life.
I hope all of you are having whatever kind of weekend you need.
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