July 30: Bandits On The Run!!

Last Sunday we had what felt like a requisite quintessential summer experience of going to an event (the Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix) on a hot day and traipsing all over in the heat, drinking overpriced lemonade, and eating fair food the came with a gigantic amount of fries. The fries came with one order of chicken tenders but were more than enough for five of us! We enjoyed watching one of the races, especially with the earnest character of the old Mini Cooper. Then we went home and most of us took naps. Sarah’s nap was over two hours long and when I tried to rouse her before she woke on her own she was completely out, with not even a flicker of an eyelid when I came in with her favorite music playing. Grandma and Grandpa visited that afternoon and Grandpa reminded me of my own previously learned lesson of trusting Sarah’s body and letting her sleep. While Sarah was sleeping, Amy decorated Grandma’s hair with hair chalk so it was vibrant in many hues.

Grandma had the girls help grind vegetables for making her special relish and the girls had a great time using the old-style grinder, testing their muscles when it was time to grind a carrot. Carl enjoyed participating and remembering helping all through his growing up. This relish really is the best and we are happy to help replenish our stock.

On Tuesday, Anna took Sarah and Amy to the library when Jeeves the Therapy Cat was there. Amy got to hold and pet this hairless Sphynx and thought he was adorable. Sarah had good time looking at an online version of her current favorite book since they didn’t have a paper copy there. 

On Wednesday Amy had a dentist appointment to get a filling in a small cavity. She was petrified. Before we left she was curled up crying under a blanket on the sofa. Initially Sarah started ranting and raving saying she didn’t want to go to the dentist, but you could tell she was speaking as Amy. Remarkably, for the drive and the time at the dentist, Sarah was sweet and kind and supportive. While she is often that way if I am upset, she is usually antagonistic if Amy is upset and may laugh at Amy. Instead, this time Sarah asked to be in the room with Amy and said she would be nurse Turkey and help Amy feel better. Amy was so upset I’m not sure that she realized how different Sarah was being from what we might have expected. Sarah sat in the room at watched Daniel Tiger. I’m not sure that helped Amy but at least it didn’t make it worse. The dentist and her assistant were absolutely wonderful with Amy and I kept my hand on her leg for the process. Once it was all done Amy looked at me with surprise and said, “you were right, it wasn’t that bad!” I do think this dentist is the best I have ever experienced in terms of filling a cavity. So if anyone in Pittsburgh needs a dentist, let me know and I can give you the information. 

Carl worked from home on Thursday so I could teach. It was wonderful to be with my students again after a few weeks away. Carl was on a zoom meeting while getting lunch for the girls, so wasn’t always sitting at the table in front of his laptop. He had the camera turned off. Until Amy snuck over, positioned one of our Minion balloons in his seat, and turned on the camera. Carl said he could hear from the kitchen how the tone of the meeting changed and he had to find out why. Much laughter ensued. 

Thursday night was one of the best nights of the year. The Bandits on the Run gave a concert in our backyard and we had some family, friends, and neighbors in attendance. When they arrived they surprised us with a serenade of a singing telegram we commissioned a few years ago. Then, after a taco dinner and carrot cupcakes, we got set up for the concert. Sarah got out her guitar and strummed along with some of the songs. She also danced and sang along with the songs we know. I think I had a smile on my face the entire time they were playing. If you haven’t heard them, I highly recommend checking them out. It is such a delightful treat when they come to town and it was extra wonderful getting to hang out with them for a bit after the concert. Adrian, one of the band members, was a volunteer in our Sarah-Rise Program and was instrumental (ahem) at bringing in other volunteers simply through his exuberance at sharing what he was doing with his friends. To honor that connection, we collected donations at the concert to send to the Autism Treatment Center of America, home of The Son-Rise Program. It is beautiful to think about the lifelong friendships that began because of running Sarah-Rise, finding people that began as strangers and now are so dear to our hearts. Adrian is one such individual, as are some of the people he inspired to volunteer with Sarah-Rise, and now we adore all of the Bandits. 

Sarah continues to love quoting from Sandra Boynton’s Blue Hat, Green Hat book about the turkey who just can’t dress correctly. When we donned our new Bandits on the Run t-shirts, she started pointing to the pictures of the band members while saying, “Blue hat, green hat, yellow hat…” Amy then made paper hats to tape onto Sarah’s shirt - plus a cat to tape onto her own shirt. 

We are now having a wonderful weekend with Amy’s BFF and her parents. We have had fun times at a lake beach and with playing music and looking at old photo books of when Sarah, Amy, and Amy’s bestie were younger. The grownups had the weirdest jigsaw puzzle experience ever. I’m not sure where the puzzle came from because we have a closet full of puzzles that we acquire over the years. I may have purchased this one because it had a picture of a wave on a beach and so that seemed perfect for this weekend. But… firstly, it was mint scented. Who does that? Who, when making a puzzle, thinks, “you know what would really make this a better experience? If it smelled vaguely like mint!” Secondly, all of the pieces were of two cuts. That was it. You could make stacks that were completely identical. So when you tried to put them together, of course they fit. Always. The only thing to tell you if you were right was the picture, but since it was of mottled sand and water that was not always easy to tell. It was crazy-making. After much laughter and gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair and doubting our senses and all that we thought we knew about the world, we scrapped the puzzle and put it away. We considered burning it, but wondered if the mint scent would release noxious chemicals. So it may just go in the trash. Unless any of you would like this lovely puzzle…?

Anyway, I wish for all of you the extended joy I feel whenever the Bandits on the Run are playing live music in my yard. May you have such joy that you can’t stop your face from smiling.

July 23: Watches, Turkeys, and Sneaks

In my last update I forgot to detail a significant moment at the beach, along with the fact that we were so glad to see family there and had a great time. We even managed to avoid getting sunburned! That is a minor miracle and Amy was impressed even if she disliked the many times I reapplied sunblock to her face. Anyway… the momentous event pertained to Sarah and her watch. I realized after she was knee-deep in water that she was still wearing her watch. While I knew she probably wouldn’t go farther in the water, I also knew it would be easy to get the watch wet accidentally. I suggested she take it off to preserve it. She didn’t want to, but as she turned to move out of the water entirely, as her way of protecting her watch, she fell and was immersed in water. I promptly pulled her up, mainly to save the watch. I know she could have gotten up on her own. We then had many rounds of increasingly tense arguing about her watch. I really wanted her to take it off to be able to play in the water. She really wanted to keep wearing her watch no matter what and was willing to give up playing in the water or to have the watch break. I kept telling her sternly that if she chose that and her watch broke, I wouldn’t buy her a replacement. Amy tried to convince her to take off the watch. Carl was not yet with us. Finally, changing my tone to mimic how she sometimes easily says things, I said,“You could say ‘oh! I know! I’ll take off my watch so it won’t break.’” And then she made the same switch and easily took off her watch!!

Last Sunday we actually had a second beach day when we hadn’t expected it, because the weather was not as constantly rainy as predicted. It was raining as we drove towards Philadelphia the end of the day, but that seems to be par for our course for trips to the Jersey shore. On our way to see my mom and stepdad, we stopped at a farm stand and got delicious New Jersey blueberries and corn. If we had known just how delicious they were we would have gotten much more. Sarah opted to stay in the car at the farm stand, but when Carl went to get in he discovered that she had moved to the driver’s seat. She gave him the biggest smile of a sneak being discovered mid-sneakiness.

We had a wonderful visit with my parents, traipsing around the Morris Arboretum (and slightly wilting from the heat), watching “Zootopia” and playing the new Daniel Tiger board game that my mom purchased. It is Sarah’s current favorite game. We always played until all characters had finished and my mom liked to win fourth. The girls now like to pretend to be Mom-Mom, delighting in coming in last if that is what happens. We also refer to Daniel as Carl named him: Daniel No-Pants. Pop-Pop invited Sarah to go for a walk around the neighborhood and she said yes. That is unusual for her to like to go for walks - unless it is a grandparent who suggests it. They had a nice walk and when Pop-Pop told Sarah how he liked walking with her and would miss her when she was gone, she replied that they could zoom. 

Sarah continues to explore different ways of interacting with the pages of my book draft. With the oldest draft she ripped out each page so now has a giant pile of loose pages. She likes to tape them together, saying she is making a Sarah-Rise book. Or she rips up tiny pieces and glues them onto a new page making a collage. Most recently she started taping them to her window, saying she was hiding them. 

Amy has been making a ton of Perler Bead art. Those are little plastic beads that you assemble on a peg board and then iron to make the beads melt together. June sparked Amy’s interest in all things Pride so she researched all of the many different Pride flags, drawing them on her calendar with a different flag for each day. She has been making Pride Flag Bingo boards and now Perler bead pride flags. I had no idea there were so many different flags and I have trouble keeping track of what colors and patterns mean what and even if I know the term I don’t always know what it means, but Amy can usually explain. 

Sarah loves going through tunnels so the drive to and from Philadelphia suits her well with its four tunnels, which we drove through on Wednesday. Thursday morning I set out to do some errands while the kids stayed at home. Amy sent me a message saying that Sarah was really missing me so I came home right away. Sarah was busy drawing a picture of mountains and tunnels, saying it was a map of where the tunnels were. She was doing that so she wouldn’t miss me too much. After lunch we did grocery shopping all together - meaning that the cart was filled with extra muffins, cupcakes, brioche loaves, grapes and kiwis beyond what I might normally gather.

Yesterday Carl took Sarah out to practice on her bike. She is getting really good at coasting and balancing. He was able to push the bike forward with just one finger, so not helping with her balance, while she balanced for much of the length of the alley near us. When she switches to peddling then it is much harder for her to balance and Carl has to do a lot to keep her upright, but still, we see a future in which it will all come together for her. 

Due to our travels and her BFF traveling, Amy hadn’t seen her bestie in 8 days so when she heard that her friend was back in Pittsburgh she tore down the steps and flew out the door to run to her friend’s house. She is there this morning since they had a sleepover last night. I’m so glad that Amy has a best friend as dear and constant as my best friends who lived equally close to me in my younger years. 

Sarah’s favorite book to discuss is Sandra Boyton’s Blue Hat Green Hat. It’s about a turkey who just can’t dress correctly. Sarah piled our sunhats on her head and put one on her foot and pretended to be the turkey. Then Amy took a turn and added two pairs of goggles on top of four hats. Sarah also likes to refer to herself as the turkey or baby turkey and to talk about when her uncle used to read the book to her when she was little and how much she liked the way he read, “oops!”

We watched Sing and Sing 2 and enjoyed them both immensely. After Sing 2 Sarah ran to get her guitar to emulate the lion. Amy ran to her room to change her outfit. Carl and Sarah strummed her guitar together with him holding chords as she played. Then he got his guitar and they strummed next to each other. Amy came down dressed in red and sequins and with glitter on her cheeks, ready to be a star. She sang and leapt and did cartwheels while Carl and Sarah played guitar along with a song tutorial on the iPad to the best of their ability. I love how the movie inspired each kid in such different ways.

Amy and I watched some of a recording of the 1994 high school stage production of a Midsummer Night’s Dream in which I played Helena. I had forgotten that I wore my hair in braids for the role. So it was very weird to see me, just a year older than Sarah is now, with my hair in long braids just like Sarah’s and with my tall, lean, gangly self so similar to Amy. I don’t know if we will watch more anytime soon because it was hard for Amy to follow what was happening. Maybe we can try again in a few years.

Lots of love to all of you. May you have some silly turkeys to bring you unexpected joy.

July 16: Walking, Beaches, and Flexible Plans

Sarah and Amy had an artful week of Camp Anna, this time including Amy’s BFF. They went to the pool and library and sewed bags and made hair bows, stickers, drawings of negative space, contour drawings, and played a musical version of Simon where Anna or a kid played notes on a xylophone while saying color names and another kid hopped on corresponding colored stepping stones. 

Sarah really enjoyed helping Carl clean the kitchen while I was away, but sometimes got out of order in terms of when dishes got put away. One day during camp she offered to clean the kitchen and put all the dirty dishes in the cabinets! 

I had a wonderful time finishing my class in Bournemouth. It was life-changing in improving the comfort of my walking. I had a fabulous time in London with one of my best friends and we walked over 17000 steps in one day! And I was comfortable! Our Airbnb looked normal on the inside but the building felt like a bomb shelter. Evidently the building was in the Brutalism style, which I had never heard of before. We were near Russell Square, probably close to where I stayed with my parents 30 years ago when we went to London! 

When I got home Wednesday night I was surrounded by hugs and snuggles and hand-holding. Thursday morning I woke up and wondered if I was getting a cold… and then tested positive for covid. Then I worried in retrospect about all of the friends I had just been with. And we had to change plans for our big trip to see family in the Philly area. We did still drive to New Jersey for a day at the shore. It was supposed to be two days but today is supposed to be very rainy. I masked and we kept good airflow in the car and Airbnb. We ate outside and only saw some family outside on the beach with tons of wind. 

Today I tested negative and Sarah and Amy and Carl have tested negative all along. So now we will be seeing my mom and stepdad after all. We are very excited to see them!

July 9: Swimming and England

On Monday Sarah and I had our customary time at the pool where Sarah gets a lesson and Amy and I swim. Amy didn’t go this time because she had already gone swimming at camp. A few weeks earlier when we had been leaving the pool I was so shocked to see the lifeguard looking at his phone and drawing that I didn’t say anything to him. This time when we arrived he was on his phone again. This time I inquired if he was actually able to attend to the pool while on his phone. He took umbrage and I certainly didn’t make a new friend but I’m glad I said something. I also emailed someone at the facility but I haven’t heard back. 

This week we watched both Puss In Boots movies and Amy wore her matching slippers for the occasion. Sarah was more attentive than she is for some movies and now likes to pretend to climb a giant beanstalk. 

Carl and I took advantage of the holiday on Tuesday to work on our basement. We made tremendous progress and now have an exercise center. Sarah has used the treadmill multiple times and used the one pound weights once. She likes to get going very fast on the treadmill so I strapped a gymnastics mat and pillow to the cement pillar that is just behind her when she is on the treadmill as a little extra safety insurance. 

On Wednesday evening I left for England, and before I went I was surrounded by love and hugs. Sarah was clearly feeling a bit stressed about it and pressing on her chin. Then she said she would make love loops or something like that, referring to a tv show I think. So there are pictures of Carl and Amy draped over me giving me hugs as I bend to get my bags, while Sarah is standing nearby to show me the loops she drew on paper and cut out. 

Before I left I wrote little notes for each girl to open each day. Carl says they have been enjoying my letters. 

I’m in Bournemouth, England studying with the Alexander Technique teacher with whom I have studied in the past in England. He was also one of my original teachers when I was training to be a teacher in the first place, starting 19 years ago! I’m with some of my friends that I made a few years ago here and it is lovely. We are in walking distance to the beach, and on Friday it was sunny and warm so I even went in the water. All the way except for my face and the top of my head! That is unusually bold for me given that the water was a bit chilly. I had so much fun jumping with the waves and thinking about how Amy would be proud of me for getting in and playing. 

While I’m away Carl, Anna, and Grandpa are covering things at home. This weekend Carl and the girls went to a beach at a lake. Unfortunately Amy forgot to bring a swimsuit despite Carl double checking with her and her belief that she packed one. Fortunately, Sarah happened to pack 5 swimsuits! And one of them fit Amy well enough. They also had a fun time pretending to jump in a pool (a couch) as the turkey from Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton. The turkey is always wearing the wrong thing or wearing clothes incorrectly, in this case jumping in the pool fully clothed. 

Sometimes when I have been away the phone signal hasn’t been strong enough for regular calls or calling seemed to make Sarah more upset missing me. For this trip things have been different. Sarah FaceTimed me twice on Thursday which was lovely and unexpected. I called yesterday and did FaceTime with Carl and Amy and Sarah. Sarah loves talking about how we will do hand holding when I get back, pretending to be Daniel Tiger and Mom Tiger. Amy likes to show me many things while on FaceTime and I try not to get seasick as the camera moves all around.

July 2: Schroth Therapy, the Science Center, and the Long Wait for a Shirt

Roughly twenty years ago I started my journey with the Alexander Technique. I feel like all of my experience thus far has been preparing me for this moment in my life now, helping Amy with her Schroth therapy homework. So far we only have three things for her to practice - breathing to engage her diaphragm, sitting upright with her arms in a certain raised position, and a squat of sorts while holding onto a support above her head. I love being able to help guide her with my hands and verbal directions so that she is using her whole body easily to support her and not narrowing her back in an effort to be upright. I love seeing and feeling the slight changes in her in response to my guidance. Yesterday as I helped her sit upright before she raised her arms, I asked if she felt supported or if it was hard to sit upright. She said with some surprise that it felt much easier than usual. There are so many times in life when someone may suggest a lifestyle change or homework that feels new and overwhelming, so it feels comforting that my hands and voice know just what to do without having to reinvent the wheel. 

A week ago Sarah had a rough Sunday evening. She took her customary looooong bath, but when she was done I could tell there was still shampoo in her hair and that some of her hair hadn’t gotten wet or clean at all. I surprised myself by my calm insistence that we had to remedy the situation. After much screaming in protest she agreed to get in the shower and let me wash her hair. In the midst of that, somehow things went awry and she slipped and fell in the tub. That was a scary moment but luckily she was ok. Shaken and upset (as was I), but ok. After finally getting her hair clean and freshly braided, she was dressed and downstairs as Carl was fixing dinner. She started playing with a new model truck that Carl received for Father’s Day. It matches the trucks he works on automating. Unfortunately, Sarah tried to open the truck doors using the side mirrors. While the doors are made to open, the mirrors aren’t strong enough to be the handles and they snapped off. Carl was not pleased and Sarah felt very upset. To her credit, later in the week when she made a birthday card for Carl, she drew a truck and colored it with the colors of the rainbow. She also wore a shirt with a truck on it. 

Amy had another good week of camp, including swimming! She also reconnected with a friend she had from preschool but hadn’t seen in years. It had been so long that it took them a few days to realize that they used to know each other. Unfortunately, most of the outdoor events for camp had to be inside because the air quality in Pittsburgh was terrible due to to the Canadian wildfires. It was so bizarre to have a situation where we wanted to mask outside and then could remove masks inside - the reverse of our experience for the pandemic years. It also points out how unusual these past few years have been that everyone of course has masks at the ready. On the first day of camp with bad air I didn’t think to send Amy with a mask and now she has a bit of a cough which we suspect may be from the time outside as she went in between her classes. 

Sarah and I went to the Science Center twice and it was lovely to have such relaxed time together. She currently loves pretending to be Daniel Tiger and Mom Tiger as they embark on a journey and hold hands. So now Sarah wants to hold my hand! I relish this because she hasn’t wanted to hold my hand walking places in years. We started each visit with lunch in the cafeteria and then walked up the ramps to the fourth floor ball area. Technically it is for ages 6 and under and they even check with some parents as they enter. Luckily no one challenged our entry and Sarah happily spent an hour or more watching the balls and putting them into one of the chutes. I was the one who instigated our departure each time because it is so loud in that area that I felt like an hour was plenty for our nervous systems to be processing. Then we came home for naps. 

I ordered some tiger t-shirts for the girls because one can never have enough tiger t-shirts! Unfortunately I made the mistake of asking Sarah if she wanted one instead of ordering it in secret. So now she is asking about when her shirt will arrive and has times of having big feelings of impatience. She also had big feelings Friday night when we went to a craft fair and she saw watches that she wanted. To be clear, she usually wants any and all watches. Unfortunately, these were necklaces and she doesn’t wear necklaces. Fortunately, Anna was there to help Sarah navigate her feelings without screaming or causing destruction. I slightly shut down into panic mode as I saw where Sarah’s feelings were headed, so I was not as effective as Anna in helping Sarah.

We celebrated Carl’s birthday with family and carrot cakes. I made my usual carrot cake and an additional gluten-free vegan cake. Amy made a PlayDoh carrot cake and even put it under a clear cover to match the other cakes before they were served. Having just learned to make pop-up cards in camp, Amy used her skills to create the best birthday card for Carl ever. On the front it said, “You’re 47 now, but wait, you’re also a…” Inside there was a pop-up drawing of a potato. 

Yesterday Carl and Amy went to a Scuba class to see if Amy would be interested in getting trained and certified. She persevered beautifully through a lot of challenging moments in the class, but ultimately decided it’s not for her at this time. She didn’t mind the requisite stop for ice cream after the class though!