May 12: Cards and Concerts

On Friday Sarah was upset when she came home from school, as she usually is on a Friday, because she would have to wait until Monday to see her beloved bus driver. After her initial upset she went off to her room. When she came back downstairs she was carrying a construction paper card that she made with scissors and glue. She informed me it was a Mother's Day card. . . for her bus driver! I’m sure he will be delighted! I say that in gest, and yet…he will be. Many people who are not mothers extend a nurturing energy towards others that is meaningful and deserves to be recognized. The bus driver certainly fills a meaningful, nurturing role in Sarah’s life so I couldn’t begrudge him the card even as I wondered if she had made one for me. 

This morning, after enjoying a fancy coffee and a chocolate croissant that Carl brought to me while I worked on the Spelling Bee game, I came downstairs to a pile of cards and presents. Sarah had in fact made a card for me too, and it is heart-melting. Under where she wrote “Happy Mother’s Day” there is an indistinct drawing that Carl informed me was her attempt at drawing my lips. Inside the card she wrote, “I love your kissis.” Carl said that was all her idea; all he had done was ask her what she loved about me. Amy made a beautiful heart drawing with smaller pictures that represent me and our connections, such as the dresses I have passed along to her, snuggling our cat, the bread I make, and a tiny picture of my book. I feel seen and loved.

Earlier in the week, Sarah and I had a relaxed walk to her eye doctor because she felt like her glasses needed to be tightened. She initiated our walk, and when we arrived she walked up to the desk and told the people what she wanted. I said nothing. I was merely her companion on this journey, making sure she crossed streets safely, but she did the whole thing herself.

On Tuesday night Carl and I went to a Decemberists concert. We saw many people we knew from different parts of our lives and were glad to have our ear plugs since it was loud. Although I tired of standing for 4 hours, it was a good concert. In preparation for this concert we had listened to the Decemberists’ latest album and were surprised that it was comprised of two normal-length songs and one 20 minute song. I never listened to the 20 minute one all the way through. I just didn’t enjoy it and couldn’t stick with it. When the group came back onstage for their encore they said, “We have one more song for you.” I turned to Carl and said, “As long as it’s not Joan in the Garden." Cue Joan in the Garden. I didn’t enjoy it and would have left early except that we wanted to see some friends we knew were in attendance but hadn’t yet seen. Aside from that, it really was a fun night.

Last night was a double concert extravaganza with Carl going to a They Might Be Giants concert, while the girls and I stayed home with Amy’s bestie and livestreamed a concert by Bandits on the Run. Sarah promptly got her own guitar and strummed and sang along. In the picture I took you can barely see Sarah because the room was dark, but you can see her white guitar strap around her back as she faces the Bandits. Long ago when Adrian volunteered in the Sarah-Rise program he would bring his guitar to his sessions. Somehow Sarah getting her own guitar to play along with him seems to bring everything full circle. 

Topping off our week, we have seen a baby bunny in our backyard! It is soooooo cute. Amy and I have been beside ourselves. 

Lots of love and kisses to you all.

May 5: Sleeping, Inquiring, and Potatoes

Last Sunday Sarah needed to sleep A LOT to recover from the energy output from tech week and the performances for the musical. She napped after breakfast. She napped after lunch. When it was time to wake up to get ready for her piano recital she kept asking for one more minute. Then she said, “no, no, I’m too weak to go on.” We debated about letting her skip the piano recital, but she had been practicing her pieces so often and was so good at them and, and, and. It was a tough call, but in the end she did wake up enough and get in a dress. She did a beautiful job at the recital, and then took another nap when we got home. She was probably napping by 4pm. We had a party scheduled for 6pm to celebrate all of her accomplishments and Amy’s art show. At 7:40 Sarah was still completely out, batting nary an eyelid when we checked on her. Since we had to wake her to take her medications anyway, we did wake her in time to be part of the party while she had dinner. And then she promptly went back to sleep!

Sarah did seem quite congested on Sunday and I was concerned that she got a cold after pushing so hard for so long with the musical. But, it turns out it was just her usual seasonal allergies. Since it was a beautiful day we forgot that at this time of year we have to keep the windows closed. Spending the night in her room with the windows shut and the air purifier going made an enormous difference and she was in great shape Monday morning, eager to see her bus driver and go to school. 

I have started appreciating how often Sarah asks all of us how our day was or how a trip was or a certain activity. She has been doing this for a while, but I think she is doing it more often now. She models for me how I could have more space to ask such questions when Carl comes home. Sarah is often eager to know about Carl’s day, how his rowing went, and what he had for lunch. 

Not to be outdone in showing Carl some love, for months now Amy has been constantly reminding him that he is boring, old, and a potato. She comes up with new and creative ways to share this message and we all share lots of laughter around it. 

This weekend we are all having Dad Weekends. The girls and Carl are having a weekend without me while I’m visiting my dad, stepmom, and brother - with an added bonus that one of my aunts is visiting too. 

Just as Sarah needed to recover her energy after the intensity of the musical, so did I. I took naps and enjoyed some time reading on the couch. I also realized I wanted to cut back on more of my teaching and administrative responsibilities and those changes are now in progress. People often ask what I will do with my time now that I’m not seeing clients and if I cut back on teaching.  I will breathe more, notice my surroundings more, and not be so busy that I end my days exhausted. For a long time I loved doing it all and so even if my days were packed I was still thriving. But now, maybe as I come into my own boring old potatohood, I don’t want to be doing all the things anymore. It’s just time for a change, and maybe that will lead to some new thing or maybe it won’t. For now I’m loving slowly clearing our house from years of clutter that I had no time for. And reading! I love reading and want much more time for that. There is also still plenty to do to keep everyone fed and in clean clothes and where they need to be when they need to be there. 

Lots of love to you all, especially if you happen to be a boring old potato.