Sunday, January 31, 2016

January 31

Nine years ago today Sarah made her debut into this world two weeks early and with a bit of unexpected (sometimes stressful) adventure along the way, setting the tone for the next nine years. What a feisty, determined, passionate little bear she is. What a blessing to have her in our lives exactly as she is. She has brought out the best feisty, determined, passionate (sometimes grumpy) mama in me. Through her, our small family team has welcomed an amazing amount of wonderful love and support into our home in the form of some of the most amazing people I have ever known. We are so deeply blessed. What a beautiful Sarah-Rise it has been and continues to be. See the gorgeous light? And the clouds that add to the beauty?

A brief look back at our beginnings… Sarah sat independently by 12 months, crawled at 18 months, and walked independently just before turning 3. I spent hours in the early days despairing and worrying about how she would ever learn to roll over, crawl, or walk. She was tiny and was diagnosed as failure to thrive (with the added line “feeding mismanagement” because that surely helps any parent move forward confidently!). She didn’t seem to like to eat solid food and my milk supply stopped working sufficiently around 6-9 months. Feeding times were crazy stressful and often involved me cursing and crying in the kitchen. I would sing and be silly for each bite she would eat. I scoured the grocery store shelves for anything with high calories regardless of nutritional value. I was desperate to avoid a feeding tube. I would walk her in the stroller for hours because that is when she would eat best. We counted calories down to each goldfish. We did avoid the feeding tube and she even started to enjoy eating but was still tiny and slow to gain weight. I fantasized about a future when we would look back and laugh about when Sarah didn’t like to eat. Amy was born when Sarah was 4. Sarah could point to pictures of what she wanted to eat. She could sign many words. She could make the first sound of many words but could only say maybe 5 complete words. I was wondering if we did need a feeding tube to give her sufficient nutrients to grow and learn. I still felt desperate. I had known about the Son-Rise Program from the time I went to college but I hadn’t really fully understood how it could help in so many different situations. I called as a last ditch effort to help with Sarah’s eating situation and with her language. Our life was forever changed for the better. Bricks of guilt and grief fell away from my shoulders during the Start-Up training. As soon as I came home I started asking Sarah for language differently, modeling language differently, and being with her differently. Her language started exploding. With the framework and support that we created and welcomed into our lives with Son-Rise, Sarah became potty trained, we dramatically changed her diet, she was able to come off all medications, and our whole family started eating more healthily. Sarah still has specific food preferences but she eats easily and willingly and I no longer stress about how much she eats (except to make sure she has energy for kindergarten!). Sarah’s eye contact improved immensely and she learned to play imaginatively. She learned to read. She is attending half-day kindergarten with 3 neurotypical peers 5 days a week with no personal helper. And she is still a growly feisty bear especially in the morning when she wants the sun to go back down. Thank you Son-Rise. Thank you team. Thank you Sarah.

A brief note from our week…Friday morning I went to donate some odds and ends to the Center for Creative Reuse and I came home with a clock. I wasn’t looking for it but when I saw it I knew it was for us. Sarah has been loving the idea of a grandfather clock, of clocks in general, of pretending to be various clocks (such as a cow clock when she is wearing cow pajamas). She was so excited when she came home from school and saw the new clock. Her clock. She even wanted to nap next to it that day so I put it next to her bed. I hadn’t known how to decorate her cake for today but now I realize it will of course be a clock face, with the 9 as the only number written out.

May your own personal dreams become reality, be they clocks or otherwise, be they feisty or otherwise, be they bears or otherwise.

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