We are home from our travels, and we saw a double rainbow on our drive which I take to be a good omen. Our first night driving back was spent at a tiny RV park that had a pond and geese a few feet from where we were parked. The second night of our journey was the only night we ever arrived anywhere before 7pm. We had a beautiful view of the sunset in the mountains of West Virginia. Yesterday we got home by 11am and were so glad that we decided to give ourselves a day and a half at home before school and work officially get going again.
During the drive, Amy drew wonderful things including a color-by-number mouse for Sarah to color. There were guides to the colors that matched Amy’s colored pencils and then she left the mouse’s shirt blank so Sarah could make the choice. Sarah gave the mouse a musical note shirt, of course. Amy also drew a musical note witch among the many varied witches that she produced.
Sarah was delighted by the flannel musical note pajamas that Carl ordered, as well as the Goodnight Moon art prints he found of a cow jumping over the moon and of three little bears sitting in chairs. At bedtime last night she wanted to put on a Goodnight Moon play. This consisted of her reading her beloved book while moving around her room pointing to the items that are mentioned in the story.
My headaches cast a shadow over things at the moment, at least for me and probably for Carl too since it is awful seeing a loved one in pain and not being able to fix it. Rubbing my neck and back sometimes fixes it but sometimes just temporarily pauses the pain and then as soon as he stops the pain pulses back. Last night was awful and the headache only cleared enough (after about 2 hours) to let me sleep but never all the way. At least when it is at mid-level I can sleep or function in life. I have used all of my zomig nasal spray and don’t get more until the 7th. It doesn’t always work anyway. Meanwhile, when I called to check on the injection medication emgality, I was told that the previous recording informing me it would be ready yesterday was incorrect. It is stuck in insurance limbo waiting for prior authorization. I am frustrated that nothing seems to happen until I get involved but no one ever tells me the moment at which to get involved. I am frustrated that insurance companies seem to think it is worth the money they save to push back against what a doctor orders. I wish all of these decision makers who make things so difficult could experience a cluster headache just once. A bad one.
A friend connected me to someone who healed from chronic daily awful migraines. I also have a book by someone who healed from clusters. It seems like a lot of components went into healing and part of it was dietary changes and part was healing from trauma. This feels both hopeful and overwhelming of how to even begin finding the right people to help me heal from whatever it is I may need to heal from. I do know a ton of bodyworkers, but I still feel like I am stuck and don’t know what to do. Being sleep deprived and often in terrible pain doesn’t really set me up to not feel overwhelmed. Covid crap also doesn’t help me feel like now is the time to make many appointments. For the moment I bought celery to juice (recommended by a friend) and I will not have any alcohol (rarely do anyway) and I am cutting chocolate and sugar (ack!!).
Carl and I watched “The Social Dilemma” last night. If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. We are changing things at home so we will have one charging station for all of our small electronic devices and we will have all of us spend less time using them. We did limit how much the kids got to do daily, but sometimes more time snuck in, and I certainly spend more time on social media than I would like to going forward. With everyone at home almost all of the time, I don’t actually need to be reachable every minute of the day. Maybe just every third minute.
Lots of love to all of you. May you be surrounded by your equivalent of musical notes.
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