March 3

Almost always after I write about an insight or having a really good connection, the rest of the day has moments that have me feeling like a liar and that I need to issue a retraction. Last Sunday was just that way. Sarah and I had some very rough moments, some of which impacted Amy and had her feeling upset too, which added to my temporarily feeling like a terrible mom. 

I have taken steps towards adding support for Sarah and myself. This week I will have a craniosacral session (with the intention of also scheduling one for Sarah) and meet with a massage therapist who specializes in PTSD. I also signed up for an online course in positive parenting solutions. The first part of the course talked about how to set up agreements with your kids in advance regarding common challenges and having a consequence that fits the situation. They have to understand the consequence ahead of time and repeat their understanding. Then it is really putting the power more into their hands. We have done similar things in the past but we hadn’t been doing it consistently. Yesterday we implemented this regarding the girls playing Mario racing games, which usually has resulted in much screaming, whining, and complaining when their time is done. After our agreement everything went as smoothly as if there was never a problem. Now I just need to do the rest of the course to get ideas for other challenges that don’t fit the model of setting an agreement and consequences. 

I have had a major insight regarding when I get mad about the mess in our house and want to get a dumpster and yell at everyone because I’m the only one who cleans, blah, blah, etc. I think it is closely, consistently related to when I feel powerless or frustrated as a parent. When things are going smoothly then I happily step around the mess thinking that this is just a wonderful house with kids. When things don’t go smoothly then the mess is suddenly unbearable and the source of all my strife. 

Amy had the loosest tooth ever that would not come out. It was flapping around, as if not attached, but it would not come out. Last night she was ready for help but was also scared. She sat on my lap while I described a scene with our cat dancing around and singing songs from “Annie” such as “You’re never fully dressed without a meow.” Meanwhile, Carl quickly gave a tug to remove the tooth. I think we all feel some relief.

Amy wrote a nonfiction book about how to play with cats. It is really wonderful. She labeled each part of her illustrations such as “rug” and “cat.” My favorite is her picture of a hand with wiggling fingers. 

May your insights last longer than mine!