September 9

Note to self: if the girls are allowed to play in the car I need to start checking it every time they are done to make sure no inside lights are on or else the car battery might die. For instance.

Last weekend we had a marvelous time camping. As we were assembling our enormous pile of stuff before loading the car I was feeling stressed and wondering why we ever go camping. We needed more food than usual because our intention was to stay for two nights, something we haven’t done since before Sarah was born. I was worried about us being cold so I brought many extra blankets and our winter coats and hats and gloves. And swim gear. Because Labor Day was going to be warm and beautiful. I actually did wear my winter coat and was glad to have it, though I would have been fine without it. We also used our swimsuits. Now I think we will only ever do two or more nights. It was so restful to have a whole day that didn’t involve any setting up or taking down of anything. We saw two people we knew and discovered that our campsite neighbors are friends with one of Amy’s teachers. It is such a small world! The girls went to the campsite bathroom all by themselves on multiple occasions, which is another amazing step towards being all grown up.

A small miracle occurred yesterday because I actually received a call in the morning from Sarah’s bus company letting me know that her bus would be late. Unfortunately this meant that probably the afternoon bus would also be late because that usually happens when there is a substitute driver. The tricky thing was that I had a client and Sarah has her time with G as soon as she gets home. I knew that I would have to cancel my client or gamble on the bus being on time. I lost my bet. Still, at least the communication was pretty good with all of it and thanks to G being flexible Sarah still got 1/2 an hour with him.

A friend suggested that in difficult interpersonal situations it can help to be neutral and not take anything personally. I said I didn’t know how to do this and I needed to be shadowed. He said he would just follow me around saying “it’s not about you” all the time. I have tried saying this to myself when the girls are whining or upset about something and it actually has helped me stay calmer. This is in line with the Son-Rise and Option ideas about how we are choosing our responses in any given situation and that other people can’t actually make us feel a certain way. What is useful is that this is a slightly different angle than I have tried before. 

For the past couple weeks our dishwasher has been non-functional. Today we await the delivery of a replacement! The thing is, I think I have actually done a better job keeping the kitchen clean without a dishwasher because I dare not let things get out of hand. I sort of wonder if we would be better off with me always hand-washing everything. I know that wondering will last about a nanosecond once the new dishwasher is installed.

I have changed the rules a bit for the girls. Instead of their morning phone/ipad time being a given, now they earn it the night before by doing whatever cleaning we ask of them and by getting ready for bed easily. So far so good. It helps to frame it as something earned by good behavior rather than lost by bad behavior.

I am now completely off my headache meds. Fingers crossed. Or rather, fingers working my trigger points regularly!