Sarah visited her new school for an hour this week and it went well. She also went to daycare a couple of times. The second day she was at daycare she started crying and asking for me at the same time within the day that she used to ask for me and cry during kindergarten. In daycare they are used to kids crying so were relaxed about it and just told her when I would be there. Then she asked for Sonia. They said they didn’t know where Sonia was. Sarah digested the information and reached equilibrium. I am hopeful that if she continues to want to go to daycare that it could be a good venue for moving through her moments of upset. There is no agenda or goal that has to be met so the caregivers can be a bit more relaxed about the whole situation. Friday night Sarah did start saying she didn’t want to go to daycare on Monday and then said she would try. Whatever she chooses is fine because she can stay home with Sonia while I work if she doesn’t want to go to daycare. The only reason I was taking her to daycare was because she wanted to go. I do think that having her go semi-regularly could help with the transition to a longer school day in the fall. This hadn’t been my plan for the summer at all, but now that it has presented itself as something the girls want then it seems like a good plan.
Sarah can get herself a yogurt (homemade soy) without any help. She asks if she can have one, opens the fridge, picks one from the yogurt shelf on the door, opens it, gets a spoon and goes to town. So simple and yet so self-sufficient and empowered.
Amy has started making her bed some days. I never taught her how. This is awesome!
Amy and Sarah and I have played almost 3 full games of the Pete the Cat Groovy Buttons Game together. Sarah does need some prompting and help but overall it has been going easily and well.
While receiving massages this week I realized that I am perhaps holding onto some tension because if I have the headaches then I have a reason for not being a better me. Given that I am on meds to not actually get headaches this seems like kind of a moot and silly point, but it was a startling thought to notice. I don’t believe it is the whole truth but there is a grain of truth. Somehow having someone press on or hold my tight spots that maybe haven’t ever seen the light of a thumb brings me face to face with myself in a way where I can’t hide. It is probably also that I am wanting to see and learn what has been hiding in my tight corners because if I truly didn’t want to notice these things or think about them then I don’t think I would. Humbling though. Sometimes I feel very vulnerable on this road to freedom. Then there is the flip side of realizing that I don’t have to figure out how to let go of these things (beliefs, fears, tensions). I don’t have to figure out what I am holding onto. I can just let it go. Sometimes.
Today we say goodbye to L. because she is moving to Canada. She has been an amazing and steadfast volunteer with us from the very beginning of Sarah-Rise and we will miss her very much. She has a gentle way of being that has taught me how it is possible to have excitement and enthusiasm in way that is different from my own. Thank goodness it is. Part of her gift to Sarah is to bring her true self to the room, bringing that variety, that quiet creativity, and her grounded love to her time with Sarah. What an amazing gift.
I am really awestruck with all of the volunteers that we have had over the years, especially those who have been with us for basically the whole time. Really??? You all really want to do this and be here with your time??? REALLY???!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so loved and supported and would like to mention that these amazing people see my house in its true state of disarray on a regular basis. I do clean the SR room before sessions (usually) but that is it. How freeing to realize that all of these people still love us. It actually doesn’t matter if the house is a mess. Sometimes I am a mess. Sometimes Sarah is a mess. These amazing individuals come anyway and love us all anyway. And we love them!
Love to all of you and your messes and tight spots.
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