February 9

This was a good week overall. What does that really mean? I think it means that I ended it feeling peaceful about my relationship with my children. The beginning of the week was rockier because there I was all revved up to spend lots of time in the Sarah-Rise room and that sentiment was immediately followed by Carl and Sonia both being away for a couple days, on days when I had few volunteers. So there wasn't much official SR time and I felt totally ineffective at accomplishing elements of Becky Blake's program. Towards the end of the week I had Sonia and more volunteers and I spent more time in the SR room myself. I feel like something in me has shifted so that it feels easier than ever to be in there and the idea of doing maybe 3 or 4 hours doesn't feel intimidating. I haven't done that amount of time yet, but I hope to.

Sarah's favorite things to do right now are to play with her new elephant toys, to practice writing numbers, and to play with her new clock toy. Yesterday Carl played with the clock during his SR time and Sarah was looking at him and saying "your turn." He was even waiting longer and longer after she took her turn before he would do anything to see if she would cue him. She did! He also let her start playing and then pretended to be a kid coming over and asking to join in the game. She said yes and let him! This is so exciting. At this point clock play is usually about putting the shapes into the correct places, which she can totally do, and I have started working in setting the time to the last piece placed (if the 8 is put in last then we set the hands to show 8 o'clock).

All of her current favorite things could easily be isms (things repeated fairly exclusively and for her own enjoyment without connecting to others) but she is also easily interacting with us and the activities. She watches and tries to copy many of the silly things I have the elephants do. She also helps sort and count them. She makes pachyderm piles and attempts to say pachyderm. 

With writing numbers she is very aware of which numbers she can do by herself and which ones she needs help to complete correctly. She applies herself with gusto to the independent numbers (1, 0, 6, 7) and then offers me her arm when she wants help. Then she usually likes time to be on her own completely with the dry-erase number book. I get my own dry-erase book and start doing the activities. She tends to go through the stages of reconnecting. She flickers looks to my book, then longer looks, then she inches closer, and then comes fully over to join my activity. I love how Son-Rise works without forcing anything! 

As part of my training new volunteers I usually have them watch me do a short session. This is always helpful for me because it helps me observe myself. I am at my most dynamic, focused, and creative. 

Sometimes with my Alexander Technique thinking, I notice the difference between noticing the floor just under my feet vs. noticing the entire floor of the room. Often I can sense a difference in my body when I notice the full room of support. When I visited yet another school yesterday I was aware of the tight emotional space I get into whenever I am thinking about school stuff. When that happens I think I am not noticing the full breadth of support around me. My intention going forward is to pause every time I feel things tightening and to remember that I have a ton of support. Instead of thinking I must make the right choice, I want to affirm that I have a wealth of good options. 

I have been inspired by the blog of another Son-Rise mom who often shares things that her volunteers write. Included in this week's update are pieces by two of my volunteers. I have said it before and I could shout it from the rooftops, my volunteers are amazing. With the many blessings that have come from having Sarah as my daughter, I have come to know stunningly, to-their-core-amazing, creative, loving people. These are people that improve the world because they exist and they have improved my world forever. I am frequently moved to tears thinking about their wonderfulness, especially when I am missing those who have moved on to other adventures.

From G:

"It seems like, recently, I’ve hit a very nice groove with Sarah, in the Sarah-Rise room, with our Sarah-Rise goals and the Son-Rise principles, approaches, and guidance.  Our interactions have been quite authentic…playful, dramatic, and fun…and Sarah has remained connected nearly fully.  Indeed, today she hit me with a mildly sarcastic and completely verbal reaction.  Hiding under “the tent” she demanded, “Read another book.”  I countered with a dramatic, “But I can’t even see your face!”  She immediately countered, “Yeah, you can,” with an almost teenage-girl tone.  It was fast, it was brilliantly timed, it was funny.  I turned to laugh and when I turned back she had popped out, smiling at me and at herself, I think, hair a mess from the static…quite proud of her accomplishment."

From Sarah C:

"People usually just call me Sarah.  But when I am in the Son-Rise room, I am called Sarah C.  

When I am called Sarah C., I am exhausted from playing so hard.  I am asked to read the same book over and over again. I am told to "move back" when I am being annoying.  I am used as a human ladder to climb upon and reach the toy shelf.  I am a construction worker, creating cribs and castles out of blocks.  I am a bus driver, a cook, a cat, an airplane, a storyteller and a preschool teacher.  I am a tent pole.  I am a blender.  I am an observer.  I am a student learning about patience, fun, and creativity.  

When I am called Sarah C., I am loved by a little girl named Sarah and I am my most joyful.  

Being called Sarah C. has shown me all of the amazing things that I can be and I will forever cherish that lesson.  And it's all because of a little girl named Sarah, whom I will love forever."