October 13

Some weeks contain so much thought and fluctuation of feelings that I am amazed they are only a week long.

Last Sunday Carl and I went to the Pirates game, which they won. The cheering was intense. As I listened to the crowd of some 40 thousand people cheering, sometimes for one man, I thought about what that might feel like. What if that cheering was for you? What if we did that level of cheering in our own heads for our own achievements. What if each parent who helped their child learn to speak was given a deafening standing ovation? The achievements of kids with special needs and parents of kids with special needs are no less amazing or important. For that matter, the achievement of all people to get up each day and strive for their dreams, or just to get through the day, is also probably worthy of that cheering and recognition. It's just that some of us berate ourselves a bit for falling short of our goals, rather than celebrating what we did do (at least that tends to be true for me).

As I began to look into possible preschool situations for Amy for next year, I quickly became a tightly wound ball of panic as I realized that I should also look with an eye for Sarah. It is so much too early to know where Sarah will be developmentally next year. And yet, for some schools, the applications for next fall need to be submitted this fall. While I want to find a place that is a good fit for Amy, I think she will be able to thrive basically anywhere. For Sarah I think it is a much more influential decision. And it is one I really can't make yet. I might keep her mostly at home for another year. I might not. After talking with my mom, I realized that the answer is just to apply now so I can have the luxury of deciding later. J. also helped me get through some other challenges by reminding me that I didn't have to do them well, I just had to do them. 

We have had a couple exciting play dates in the past couple weeks. Often when Sarah is around other kids she either pays them no mind or she is so excited that her jaw and hands are moving constantly. She is starting to shift into calm attentiveness. She watched these two other kids very closely, with a still body for 70% of the time. She also followed them sometimes to do the same activity. 

She is also playing more with Amy. We had a three-way game of catch and ring-around-the rosey. Twice, in response to my prompt, she has helped Amy up after a fall. She is learning to ask people questions while looking at them rather than at me (this sometimes requires me to hide behind the person I want her to address). Mostly she gets practice asking Amy if she (Sarah) can wear the bug pajamas at night. Amy always says no and Sarah is always upset. But they are having a tiny conversation! I am diligently reminding myself to celebrate Amy's "no" as much as I would her "yes." It is wonderful that she knows her own mind and can express it clearly. And it is wonderful that Sarah is learning to ask for things by phrasing a question rather than a statement.

In response to finishing her juice one afternoon Sarah said "Nice work Miss Magoo. Wow. Holy Moly." It is so adorable when she repeats the praise and celebration that we use. It is just so cute coming out of her mouth. This was the first time she has called herself Miss Magoo, a name I gave her when she was very young.

We have Grammy and Granddad visiting this weekend and the girls are, of course, very excited to have them here. Amy has really taken to Grammy and Sarah is, as usual, very attached to Granddad. Last night at dinner, Sarah spontaneously took her painting off the wall where I had recently taped it. She held it and said "paint at school." We don't get many of these moments where she initiates showing something to someone and this was the first occurrence of showing art work. This was the most blatant show and tell I have ever witnessed from her. Wow. Holy Moly. Nice work Miss Magoo!

Sarah's itchy skin had cleared up and so I had been reintroducing some foods (just not bananas because I suspect they may have been the first itch offender a few weeks ago). And now she has itchy skin again. Argh! So back again we go. I am no good at just doing one new food at a time! But I really must do so from now on for my own sanity to make it easier to recognize problems.

Sometimes I am astounded when I realize a fun game was staring me in the face for months and I didn't see it. We recently got the wood pieces from Handwriting without Tears and Sarah loves it when we make letters and she takes them apart or steps over them. She makes some letters herself too. This week I realized I could make huge letters out of the blue planks and colored bricks that we have had for months. How did I miss that?? At least I figured it out now.

Our field trip was to a sincere pumpkin patch, and we were in search of the Great Pumpkin. We didn't see the GP but we did get a large pumpkin and several small ones. The girls could not have been more earnest or sincere as they hefted their small pumpkins into the wheel barrow and helped push it through the field.