Sarah has always been an awesome traveler and this trip was no exception. She even did a great job staying with us while walking through the airport without us holding her hand the whole time.
Sarah is often quite present during meal times at home and she continued this in our large family gatherings of 10 people. When we sat down to our turkey dinner, a small voice said "gobble." As we laughed she looked around, clearly pleased with herself. She also clapped and said "yay" after we sang happy birthday to J. on Wed. In general she was quite verbal and made great eye contact during meals. On the last day she was having more of a struggle and not wanting to eat or be at the table. I was also more stressed about packing and trying to control things so that may have been part of why she struggled more. Overall she did a fantastic job being present and I also think it totally makes sense that she wanted to nap more than usual. When she was present she was very very present and when she was not she was trying to nap (really wanting some down time). Being around so many people and in a new place probably gave her a lot to process.
I had two fun SR sessions with her where we played for some of the time with a broken soccer ball. There is so much to play with with a broken ball (how many different ways can you try to fix it?). She also really enjoyed playing with puzzles. I would collect the pieces and ask which one she wanted next. If she put a piece in the wrong place I would say "wrong hole!" since we know she loves wrong holes. This seemed to help keep the trying fun. Lastly, we had a fabulous time playing with practicing "th." It really tickles my tongue when I try to emphasize it. Sarah thinks this is funny and thus it really helps to develop a game around practicing. I give her tickles and kisses and cheering with every attempt she makes, which means that she often practices for a few minutes and also really watches my mouth as I say the sound or word.
We have been working/playing at having Sarah use greetings (hi, bye, hello) and at one point she was playing with a toy camera and spontaneously held it to her ear and clearly said "h-ell-o." She also said attempts at goodbye and goodnight more readily than usual when prompted.
Lately, Sarah says she wants to take off the dots or stripes on plates or pictures or fabric. For a while we were just explaining why we couldn't do this. At one point Sonia switched it up and asked Sarah if she could have the dot that Sarah was trying to take off; Sarah picked up a pretend dot and put it in Sonia's hand. We then started doing this with almost anything she asked to take off, pretending to accept it and then smoosh it back into place or eat it or put it in our pockets. This further developed to playing with Amy and pretending to take her nose, much to Amy's delight.
Earlier in the week I had an awesome Option moment, thanks to my dear husband Carl facilitating my internal shift. I was helping Sarah get dressed but was feeling quite angry and impatient and frustrated with myself for not being perfectly happy and patient and Son-Risey. I left Sarah's room and went to talk to Carl. He reminded me that I could make a decision (eg. hide Amy's sweatpants that Sarah wanted to wear) and that Sarah could have her reaction. Ah, such wisdom! I instantly shifted into feeling ok about her reaction because I stopped judging my decision as bad. I think I very often take the screams of my children to mean that I made a bad decision and then I get frustrated feeling like I am stupid or should have done something different. Remembering that I can still stand by my decision and allow for the screaming without doubting myself helped immensely. And once I wasn't resisting the screaming it very quickly stopped and I playfully and energetically encouraged Sarah to get dressed, which she did rapidly.
Now to remember that learning... as I mentioned I was not my most Son-Risey as we were preparing to leave Minnesota. I was impatient and grumpy and anxious and judging myself all over the place for feeling that way. So, back to the beginning... first to accept my own self in all ways. Yup, all. Otherwise I get stuck and don't actually move past the upset. As one of my favorite people says, this was AFOG (Another F*ing Opportunity for Growth). Yes, it was. And maybe that is great. Maybe every time I get stuck or unhappy I can on some level really celebrate that my stuck spots are being brought to my attention. And it doesn't mean I'm a terrible person and why would anyone want to be with me. It just means that I have places where I am not feeling happy and that I would prefer to feel happy in future situations.
I am so deeply grateful for this incredible journey and my extensive group of supportive family and friends and volunteers. I hear many Son-Rise parents talk about having family or friends who don't understand what they are doing or don't fully support it. I have never felt unsupported by any family member or friend. That is pretty huge. So thank you all for joining this journey in whatever way you are joining it.
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