August 25

This week we got 26 hrs, 20 min.

We have fantastic news to share....Carl's sister Sonia will be moving to Pittsburgh in October to help us for the year!!!!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah!! She is fantastic in the playroom and with both girls out of the playroom and with helping our life run more smoothly in general.

Highlights from this week include Sarah attending to my explaining and showing her how to play a small version of a memory game with the matching squares. This only really works when she is eating but she is very attentive during that time. I set up a small game and then I take all the turns. The last time we did this I encouraged her to participate and she did turn over a couple of squares. She is quite the captive audience when she is eating and so we are able to get her to attend to longer explanations of games or longer books. Normally she doesn't really let me read Harold and the Purple Crayon, but she does if she is eating.

N. returned from vacation and was wearing a shirt with a picture of Heinz field that included the Heinz sign, but no other reference to ketchup. Apparently Sarah pointed to it and said "ketchup." Go little Pittsburgh Sarah!

Today when Carl took the girls out for fries at a nearby restaurant that has a large (42") tv, Sarah evidently said "watch football on small tv." I guess she is used to our big projector screen!

During one of my SR playtimes I was lying down and she very clearly said "sit on mom" and proceeded to repeat that several times as she climbed onto me.

When she is talking about animals or sometimes people, Sarah goes through some of her favorite jokes, such as "wad cat" (ride cat), "push cat," "eat cat."

In Amy news, Amy has learned to keep her mouth closed for a kiss and it is perhaps the cutest thing ever as she leans in saying "mmmmm" and then blinks up at me while her lips are pressed against mine. Then if I ask for a hug the soundtrack changes to "aaaahh." If she wants to sing then she says "ooooh." That is also how she refers to shoes.

August 20

Given that this was a week in which daycare was closed, I am pleased to report that we still managed 19 1/2 hours. And that was without any hours on Saturday because we were driving to Delaware to celebrate Sarah's great grandfather's 91st birthday. It was great to see lots of family and it was also good to see how Sarah handled/struggled with some parts of it. It is more and more clear that she can thrive in settings with just one or two other people and she will chatter away almost non-stop, as she did for part of the car ride home today. When we were at my parents' house with my uncle B. on Saturday afternoon then Sarah was quite present and talkative and B. was aware of a big difference compared to when he saw her in December. He said she seemed more like a regular kid in terms of her presence. C. noted that she was more adventurous physically and better at puzzles, and that is compared to just a few months ago. In settings such as the birthday party where there were lots of people in a new setting with appealing doors, she struggled more and ismed more. There were more (and longer) tantrums and tears when she didn't get what she wanted. She also didn't talk much or make as much eye contact and she wanted to go in and out of doors all the time. I send these updates to so many family members and it is fun when they can also notice a difference in person. It can feel disappointing when the setting is such that people probably couldn't tell that there was much of a change.

During the party at one point I started feeling really sad. This was after observing some typical kids and watching Sarah and feeling disappointed at how hard it is sometimes. Thinking back on this moment I think what really brings the sadness is when I feel like Sarah isn't what I want. It isn't actually about her it is about my disconnecting from my love from her. When we had time just the two of us later in the day it felt so good to reconnect. What I am trying to convey is that it isn't about her special needs or challenges that I get sad. What brings the sadness is when I judge my own kid and separate from her. She is my daughter and I don't want to stop loving her even for a second. Our life is what it is right now and if I label it hard then sometimes that can actually make it feel harder. If I don't label it but just keep reaching for loving responses then it is much better. This is also easier when we are in our Sarah-Rise bubble of life, mostly at home and with very few outings or opportunities for comparison. Admittedly, this life can get tiring and challenging and I certainly don't always do it the way I intend. Sometimes I just want to press pause and have a week to catch up on the rest of life and a week to just be me without chasing two children. But I am also so pleased to be able to spend so much time witnessing Sarah and Amy. I have been trying to teach Amy to kiss and it is so beyond adorable when she wrinkles her nose in cackling delight and moves in for a kiss. And it is so precious to hear Sarah quietly, tentatively, eke out her alphabet song. It is the best song I could hear! That plus Amy's new way of singing that consists of "oooooh."

N. has been away on vacation and Sarah has still asked for him daily and at most moments of distress. Luckily when we were at my parents' house, my brother B. was there. She was attached at the pant leg most of the time. This time she could even say that she wanted to touch his pants. The light brown cargo pants were her favorites. When he wore black pants at the birthday party that was not enough to win over the doors or her tears. N. tends to wear cargo shorts. I think there is something Sarah finds comforting or appealing in certain kinds of pants and shorts. As she gets more language perhaps we will gain more understanding about what it is that she likes so much.

I think I didn't used to understand that Sarah gets overwhelmed and that the way she deals is to ism (to "eeee" and watch feet and do doors). Sometimes she is overwhelmed in an excited way which is why I just thought she was excited. But maybe overly excited could be deemed overwhelm. And it is different from her delighted excitement, such as when A. arrives and starts playfully interacting from the moment they see each other. Then she is giggling and her eyes are sparkling. I think there is also a middle ground where she isms with lids or other things because she likes them and that she sometimes likes them so much that can bring out her "eee" and rigid hands and jaw too. At least in the SR room she can also usually make eye contact and interact a bit along with her hyper-excitedness.

Sarah's talking has been continuing to improve in clarity and the number of words she says consistently at a time and the number of things she tries to say. Now when she asks for something (eg. ipad) she also then immediately adds "es" (yes), not even waiting for us to ask in confirmation if she wants the thing.

Our program is in a bit of flux at the moment as we bid farewell to some of our volunteers and begin scheduling some new ones. J. is about to return to college and two more will be studying abroad for the semester. A. is about to move to NYC. Sy. just started. I have one new person to schedule for her first time and two potentials that I have yet to meet. Flux is not my favorite thing to deal with. In general I like things decided yesterday. I think I've relaxed about schedules a bit but I am also eager to get everything settled for the coming year. Once I have my volunteer schedule settled I will see what other help I need to arrange to meet my goals and keep our life running as smoothly as possible. One step at a time.

If you have sadness, may it pass quickly. If you have joy, may it be full. May you find many things to witness with delight.

August 12

This week we got 22 hours and 15 minutes.

Everything is set for Sarah not to attend kindergarten in the fall. There is no school requirement in PA until the age of 6 so I don't need to do any home schooling forms or anything. In Feb/March of next year I will contact the appropriate people who will help with any paperwork and evaluations that need to be done. It is a relief to have spoken to people who know what they are talking about. We have been quite impressed overall with the public schools here and how they take care of their "students with exceptionalities."

On Friday and Saturday Carl, A., S., J., and I all noted an extra burst of language coming from Sarah. We didn't alway know what she was saying but she was quite verbose.

I have been working with her with the alphabet song, pausing more and more often for her to fill in more and more letters. Yesterday she basically sang the whole alphabet by herself (with very little help). This afternoon during my Sarah-Rise time I said it was time to clean up and then sing our abcs. As I was putting the playdough containers back on the shelf I realized that she had started singing. I celebrated her hugely and then requested that we sing it together. I waited for her to start and instead of us doing our usual turn-taking, this time we sang it together. This was a first! We sang a song together!!!

Last night we went camping for the first time in a few years. Sarah was excited to sleep in a tent and overall the trip went well.

We've been experimenting with time-outs, especially when trying to enforce safe behavior around streets. In the past when we had tried time-outs it didn't seem effective or useful. Now it seems that her understanding has increased so it has seemed more effective. Now there can be an actual conversation about what we don't want her to do and why.

When Sarah was getting dressed this morning she was having trouble with one pant leg and Carl said he thought she could get it by herself. She said "push wey ha(r)d" (push very hard). When we were taking a walk in the woods she said that we were going to the castle, which is a candyland reference. I love that she can joke and that her imagination is increasing. When we talk about cats she says "meee" or "meo" and "pur pur."

This week I came up with a new game which we both love. Typewriter kisses. I kiss the length of her arm and then say "ding" and start at the beginning again. After a couple of times she will then be the one to say "ding."

August 4

This week we decided to defer kindergarten a year (hoping this is possible) and are in the process of either unenrolling Sarah or enrolling her as home schooled. I still need to talk to the appropriate people in the public school system to get all of this settled but I have taken the first steps. I will be running a full-time Sarah-Rise program, aiming for 30-40 hours a week. To that end, with Sonia's help, this week we achieved a record 40 hours!! 18 of those hours were done by me. This was a very helpful experiment to help me see what kind of help I will need to achieve this and what makes sense in our life. I think we can have some days with 8 hours of SR but not 5 days a week. That would be too intense and not leave enough time for Sarah and Amy to play together or for Sarah to be outside. We can have some days like that (as we did this week) but not all of them. We will also continue to get some of our hours on the weekend.

I was very decided about this plan while Carl was wanting time to think about it. Then, when he was on board with the plan and I started making calls, I (predictably) started freaking out. I still think this is the right course of action because what Sarah most needs help with is the ability to pay attention to people and Son-Rise is designed for that in particular. Along the way we will aim to help her with language and school-related skills. Her drawing and pre-writing is already improving. In the past I used to be pleased when we achieved 10 hours of SR in a week. Now with my new plan and this incredible week I realized I was starting to get emotionally tight about things, feeling like I needed to make her a typical kid by the end of this next year. As if it is in my control. When I am too anxious about getting results from her in some way then I am not as fun, loving, or creative about getting those results and it is not as fun (or productive) to be in the room together. So while I want to figure out a schedule and arrange whatever help I need to make this happen for 30-40 hours a week, I also want to remember that it doesn't have to be the same each week and that some is always so much more than none and that she has already progressed beautifully and I believe she will continue to do so. I also know that if I don't do this plan for the year I will always wonder "what if?" and that this is good timing since it is at a transition point anyway.

I also realized that, at least for now, I can do 4 hours of SR myself on some days but not 5 days in a row. I also continue to appreciate the variety and fresh perspective that volunteers bring. It is really important for Sarah to have multiple sources of input and creativity. I have started training two new volunteers and all of my volunteers are fantastically thoughtful and wonderful. Having a child with special needs has really helped me appreciate how wonderful people are and how supported I am. This is a very different life than I ever imagined for myself. On most days I have a steady stream of people coming in and out of my house. Tomorrow I will take Sonia to the airport and Carl doesn't return until the evening and we have no volunteers scheduled and no plans of any kind. This is such a rare thing that I think the house will feel very quiet and the day will probably feel long.

Sarah continues to cook eggs with help. When she is having trouble keeping her hands in a safe place then we tell her to put them on her belly and that seems to work.

We are back to experimenting with being milk-free (we started with Sonia's arrival). I'm not sure if it is making a difference so we will evaluate again when we reintroduce it at some point.

She has incorporated the word "keep" into her vocabulary. When I opened the blinds one morning she told me to "keep dahkar" (keep darker). In the Sarah-Rise room she also now says she wants to keep toys down on the floor instead of clearing them before we get the new toy. I think she learned this word when we were drawing on the white board and I started asking if she wanted to erase the drawing or keep it.

We are still working on her regularly saying "yeah" or "yes" instead of "aya" but she often says it without prompting and readily says it in response to a prompt.

She says many more things, so much so that it feels hard to write it all down. She describes what she sees a lot of the time or tells stories about past occurrences. She likes to talk often about getting a new piece of wood from home depot because her bed broke. Sometimes she suddenly says something out of context because it is something she can say and get a conversation going. This is sometimes first thing in the morning or at night before bed or after a particularly connected bit of time in the Sarah-Rise room (as if she needs to revert to her language comfort zone).

Within this last week I did lots of joining in the SR room and then we also had lots of connected times. Yesterday we were interacting for almost the full two hours. Last week we had 30 minutes of me joining her (doing the same thing she is doing) opening and closing lids and zero eye contact. I just keep reminding myself that the joining is the way I can play her game and that then there is a better foundation for asking her to play my game (which doesn't have to be a game, it could be a conversation or following directions or whatever I am wanting her to do).

She often has great attention around the dining room table, making eye contact with multiple people easily and sustainably. This has been the case for a while but I know it wasn't always that way in the past. 

July 30

This week we clocked 26 hours and 45 minutes. An all time record!! 

As I mentioned before, whenever I despair Sarah always does something to show me hope. This has been an amazing week. At her own request Sarah now cooks scrambled eggs daily, sometimes just for herself and Amy and sometimes for 4 people! She helped cook a soup that I made (though she didn't eat it). After cooking her eggs she routinely gets her own fork, carries her bowl to the table, and goes back to the spice cabinet to get the salt shaker. In the past when people would suggest having kids help with cooking or cleaning up after a meal I always thought that was a ridiculous notion. And now we are at that point! I haven't yet had her clean up but she helps clean up her toys in the Sarah-Rise room sometimes so I think meal clean-up can come next.

I have tackled the electronic form for the team to fill out and I am super excited about it. So far I am the only one to use it but I will introduce it to the team this week. It will make it easy to track our goals and what techniques work well to further those goals. It will also allow us to really track her language progress, which words are spontaneous and which are requested and how they sound in either case. What I really love is my sense of annoyance with needing to fill out all of the different words she says.... because there are so many!!! If Sarah-Rise has given us nothing else, it has given us a language explosion. And I know it has given us so much more too. The other thing the form will help with is pointing out the areas where Sarah needs help, since the form is based on the Son-Rise developmental model. I realized this week that she usually only cries when she wants to leave the room or when she wants a different person with her (usually volunteer N.). I started not getting the games down in the customary way but instead just getting out a few of the items from a box. Whew! Did that get her whining revved up! So now I see we need to stop being quite so accommodating as we bring things down. We will get her what she wants but we want to elicit a calm use of language on the way to getting what she wants.

Sarah has more clear words overall and especially when I request that she practice a word she does an excellent job trying and many times says words perfectly. A few perfect words from the week: (volunteer) N., yellow, marker. I am so proud of Sarah for how much she is willing to practice words. It helps that she finds words, or my face or voice when I say them, funny. Today she asked for markers and we practiced for a good 5 minutes before I got them. I only got one perfect rendition of the word from her but we were laughing and connected and enjoying our time of practicing this word together. 

She continues to ask that "N., come in" several times a day. We have written many letters to him. Writing letters and drawing pictures seem to really get her attention. 

The part that makes me teary about this week is that Sarah drew her first picture. At least, to my knowledge, this was the first time she conveyed that she was putting on paper a vision that she had in her head. After we wrote the letter to N. I gave her the paper and pencil and just let her draw. I didn't say anything or do anything except pay attention. She drew some arcs and scribbles. Then she made lots of dots and short hash marks. Then she said, "wain" (rain). I wanted to clarify so I asked if she was drawing rain. She said aya. Then I asked if the scribbles were clouds. She replied "sigh" (sky). 

Thanks to A. singing with the pizza game "when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore" we now have a great attention getter and tool for building in anything. She loves this song and cracks up when we sing it, making delighted eye contact. If we pause she will fill in almost all of the words. I then take the song and vary it depending on what we are playing with (eg. "when the cake hits your belly like  a big piece of cake that is silly" or "when the playdough lid hits the windowsill like a big playdough lid that's amore" or "when I give you lots of tickles and you give me lots of giggles that's amore.")

When Sarah's volunteers show up she lights up and heads upstairs, starting to play even before reaching the SR room. She frequently references A.'s suspenders and the game they play with them (she pulls them, he leans over so she tips back and he makes an "aaah" sound, which she echoes when talking about the play).

When N. finished his time with Sarah on Thursday she spontaneously gave him a real hug, not a chin-press or shorts-stimming hug, but a real hug. Then a couple of hours later when G. showed up she looked up and said "ha" (hi) before he had said anything. Then she headed upstairs and told him to come up, waiting for him part of the way up and then dashing off with glee for her bedroom (where they played with quilts on the car bed).

We are fortunate to have Carl's sister Sonia visiting for a couple of weeks so that makes it easier to get in extra SR time. Without us saying anything Sarah progressed to a better pronunciation of Sonia's name. She used to say "S-oh-a" and now she says "Sona." Sonia noticed (since she last saw Sarah in April) a dramatic improvement in Sarah's eye contact, the clarity of her language, the amount of her language, and how nice she is to Amy and to others. She used to hit Amy when she was mad at me or sometimes would hit me or Sonia. Now she doesn't. In fact, Amy is now the one to push Sarah and give attack hugs, which Sarah tolerates as if it is a minor nuisance. 

The more time I spend in the Sarah-Rise room the easier it gets and the faster the time goes. I feel like I am also really starting to understand and appreciate joining. This is when she is exclusive so we then do the same thing she is doing a few feet away, either with part of the same toy or something similar. What I am realizing is that if she is exclusive and I try to draw her out with something that isn't joining it often doesn't hook her attention. But when I join then she really starts paying attention to what I am doing. Sometimes I can build and sometimes builds don't work but we stay connected and she is really watching me. That is the beauty of it. There have been studies that show that when parents join their children then those children spend more time looking at the parent in general, not just at that time. And the more Sarah looks at us all the more she will learn. It makes so much sense. If I am watching my favorite tv show and you come over and tell me I should come watch your show instead I will probably ignore you. But if you sit and watch my show and love it too then I will be more apt to trust your recommendation of what to watch next. So when I open and close a lid for half an hour I am watching Sarah's show. Then when I suggest writing a letter to Noah, she is willing to watch my show.

What did I envision when I wanted to have kids? I wanted to have a wonderful and loving connection. I wanted to be amazed and delighted by my kids. I have that and I am so grateful.

Thanks again to all of our volunteers giving their time to help this venture go forth. This is a remarkable journey.

July 22

This week was the first week where we reached my goal of 20 hours. We actually did 20 hrs and 15 min.

As usual there were many good things this week and some rough patches. Wed/Thurs I hit a very rough patch personally where I sort of crashed and burned. I felt hopeless and incapable of taking our program to the next level (getting volunteers to fill out evaluations after each session, having group meetings every 2 weeks). I also often find it challenging for a bit after being with typical kids and also after being around other kids with special needs who have a less challenging time than Sarah does. As I have said before, I know in theory I just shouldn't compare, but I do and then I can feel depressed. I also notice a weird correlation with kicking our program up a notch in the intensity with questioning what we are doing in the first place asking all of these fabulous volunteers for their time and putting in so much time of our own. I have a new Amy-watching volunteer (Noah's brother Ari) and Adrian is increasing his SR time to 6 hours a week. My crisis in confidence was wondering if this program is really doing anything (though if anyone else were to question me I would defend it staunchly). I so easily acclimate to Sarah's new abilities that I forget how far we have come. And progress feels slow. We get tiny improvements frequently but overall this is a big mountain to climb.

So I had two sessions of crying in the SR room and being far from the best that I could be. Then I came out of it, thanks in part to just deciding it was really ineffective to be so morose and thanks to reading the latest Christian Science treatment for Sarah and thanks to listening to some Jason Mraz songs ("I won't give up," "I'm Yours," and "Lucky.") His songs can shift my mood dramatically. Why do I not always play them? I don't know. Because when things are easy and going well then I don't think I need to keep doing things to keep them feeling good. 

I did write up a short form for people to fill out so we can track language improvement and what games work best for getting language, eye contact, etc and what works best to build out of joining in a way that gets her attention. I think it will be helpful if all of us who work with Sarah pool our resources and share our ideas so we can be more focused in our work. I contacted a friend who has an electronic form for doing this and I will be learning how to use it soon. I still feel daunted about meeting every two weeks. It is very difficult to coordinate so many varied schedules, especially during the summer when so many people have travel at different times. What I need to remember is that even if we don't quite hit that goal we are still doing good work and it is still making a difference (despite my times of doubt I am not willing to not do this). And if we can meet more frequently then all the better. 

I have also been trying to clarify my goals for this week since I think having a small set of concrete goals might help us all be focused and notice our progress. So my current small set of goals is:
1. to have Sarah say "yes" clearly instead of "aya" (much as I adore the way she says "aya.")

2. increase attention span (this is what we all are already helping her with beautifully in the various ways of playing and keeping her attention with us when her attention is available; this can include calling her back to a game instead of immediately getting the newly requested item)

3. attend to Candyland in some manner (talking about the box, playing with the box, singing the name of the game, playing with the little people, talking about the pictures on the board, wearing a crown, anything with the cards, making a candylandesque board out of pieces of playdough, writing candyland on the white board and any words that pertain to it, following a path around the room, with the eventual goal of actually playing the game.)

As often happens when I get depressed about things with Sarah, she herself then does something to inspire me and show me that she is still growing and learning. This week she started wanting to cook scrambled eggs so she has done so with with my assistance at least 3 times. (pictures below)

Sometimes things don't go according to plan and sometimes that is an unexpected gift. On Friday I had to take Sarah to the daycare where Amy goes while I went to work. When I showed up to get the girls they were playing together on the same play structure, easily sharing the space together. Of course they play together at home but there aren't other kids at home or as many different play areas. So here they were really choosing to be together amicably (which also does not always happen at home; lots of quibbles over toys or even parent laps lately). That touched my heart.

Yesterday Amy was having a hard time going down for a nap; Sarah climbed in Amy's crib and lay down. I asked if Sarah wanted to nap with Amy and Sarah said yes. Amy was still having none of it. Then I asked Sarah if she would like it if Amy shared her room and slept in there. Sarah said yes. Since the crib is too big to fit through the doorways we decided to ask Sarah if she wanted a new big bed and she said yes and started talking about it a lot. We have a frame that has been in my family for a few generations so I was excited that we could now use it. I had worried that Sarah wouldn't want to give up her car bed but she seemed quite eager to switch. When Carl was helping her go to bed last night he asked her where the new bed should go and the conversation went something like this:

Should the new bed go by the window? no

where should it go? on beda beda

on your bed? aya

on top of your car bed? aya

you want the new bed on top of your car bed? aya!

I guess that is an argument for bunk beds 

(bunks will eventually come here from Carl's parents, but I want a few good years with her in my old bed first)

Lastly, I would like to extend deep gratitude and appreciation to my uncle and aunt, John and Jane, who have generously funded my Son-Rise training and the phone consultations and the Outreaches and will continue to do so. It is invaluable and priceless support, allowing me to fully follow my dreams for Sarah in the best way I know how.

Really lastly, I have decided that it is ok to have wildly hopeful daydreams about Sarah's future. My current one is of her graduation speech at Swarthmore where she says that Swatties can do anything and that she is proof. We will have our whole families and the whole Sarah-Rise team there and all of us will be laughing and crying and deeply happy. I share this in the hope that happy dreams create good energy and that good energy helps us all and that by aiming high we never know where we might end up. Bears and Samahria were told they had no hope for Raun. They decided to give him all the loving energy and input that they could. He recovered completely from severe autism, graduated from an ivy league college, and is now the CEO of the Autism Treatment Center of America. 

Perhaps I can fully accept Sarah for who she is and love her wildly and deeply as I do no matter what and also trust that she has immense potential.

Wishing you all wildly hopeful daydreams (and infrequent times of crashing and burning).

July 15

17 hours! Part of that was the outreach and part was having my mom and stepfather visit, each of whom did time in the room and also watched Amy while I went in the room. This was a short week of days for SR compared to usual since we went away Fri-Sun.

I noticed that Sarah's weight had dropped by about a pound so decided to stop any further attempts to reduce dairy and to go back to full-on dairy as we used to do. I'm still trying to get in a variety of healthy things but for now I think we really need her to be able to have half n half for her milk. Soy milk just doesn't cut it. Since she often has 1-3 cups of milk or chocolate milk in a day that is a big difference in calories. I think soy milk is roughly 80 calories per cup. Half n half is more like 240. What was then slightly alarming was that the day I went back to the full load of dairy (Wednesday) Sarah had a lot more of her excited hands and jaw and sounds. Luckily I am married to someone who reminds me that we don't have enough data and shouldn't immediately freak out and assume causality. After all, the change was also made after several intense days for Sarah. We had had the outreach and then Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop visited Mon-Thurs morning. This also coincided with a visit from Kathy O'Neil who does Anat Baniel Therapy and Sarah had two sessions on Tuesday. All of this was good and it was also different from the norm and potentially a lot more for Sarah to process. Maybe this was just her processing. Anyway, we have stayed the course to get her weight up and after 3 days of increased hand/jaw stimming it seems to have gone back to what we were used to as the new normal (only with men's pants/shorts or with doors). It was actually helpful in some ways to have the spike in that kind of stimming because it pointed out just how much it had stopped before.

Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop (Janet and Ralph) noticed significant improvements in Sarah's language and eye contact compared to when they were here in March.

Sheri said her session with Sarah was one of the best yet and that Sarah was connected the whole time.

Normally I instruct volunteers about how to respond when Sarah cries and wants me during her time in the SR room. Thursday I got to experience a lot of her crying and wanting to leave and wanting someone other than me. She is devoted to Noah, our newest volunteer, and was trying to climb the door to get to him. Inspired by Megan, I drew pictures on the white board of him riding his bike and Sarah saying "come in No-na." We also wrote a letter to him with me asking if she wanted me to write a certain thing and then she said yes or no; many of the ideas were hers. We had two hours for our session so we had lots of good play and some joining too. The crying bits didn't last too long and she was very attentive as I drew the story and wrote the letter (some of which read something like: "ride your bike here on the sidewalk. come in. come upstairs. I am crying because I miss you.")

On our weekend away Sarah really liked hanging out with Joel (and his shorts) and at least once went over to him, looked at him and said hi, without our prompting any of it. She also got much better with pronouncing Kirstin and had a good time in general with her cousins Zohar and Noa. (Amy and Noa are very close in age and it was super cute when they had dance parties to Amy's musical flowers).

Megan had suggested playing Connect Four with Sarah, a game we don't yet have. As luck would have it, the house we were renting this weekend had it! She was interested right away (of course, with little plastic pieces). At first I just joined with what she was doing and then I started talking about dropping the pieces in the wall and then moved on to us each doing a color and taking turns. When I started guiding her to block me and telling her I was blocking her she cracked up. She loved the word "block"  and would say "block eyou." So we played the game for real twice and each of us won once. I was certainly guiding a lot, but it still felt real.

There was also a chess set at the rental house and Carl and Sarah sat with the board between them and he told her some of where the pieces went and she seemed attentive at least for a solid few minutes.

We have shifted away from stepping Sarah through words sound by sound and are now telling her what piece was missing or emphasizing a part of the word but still saying the word fluidly. We also just ask her to try again to say the word more fully. She is really trying. She pauses and thinks about it and then tries, sometimes sort of successfully and sometimes the word gets more confused but it is lovely how much she is willing to try.

Foodwise, we are now telling Sarah she has to stay seated throughout the entire meal, until everyone is done eating. She is really not thrilled with this and tries her utmost to leave. The good thing is that usually once the storm of wanting to leave has passed she then eats more.