Sunday, August 21, 2022

August 21: Late Buses, Bike Trouble, and Schedule Stress

Amy started 6th grade! The bus was 12 minutes late on her first morning, meaning she arrived at school late. While not penalized for such, she was disappointed to be late on the first day. Little did we know the lateness this bus could truly achieve. She was 50 minutes late coming home!! For the second and third days the bus was less late in the mornings so she got to school just in time, and it was only 35 minutes late in the afternoons!! I am making myself wait for a few more days for the bus company to get its sh*t together before I unleash mama bear. Amy thanked me profusely for telling her to pack multiple extra snacks along with her lunch. Her lunch and recess period is from 10am - 11am each day, but dismissal is at 3:50. That is a very long time to go without food and, if she hadn’t had snacks during the long wait for the bus, intolerable (from my perspective). Still, even with snacks, when she gets home she is starving. I know when I go too long without food then when I finally do get food it takes my body time to realize it has been fed. Luckily her school sent an email saying that from now on kids can bring fruit to eat at 1:30 and the school will also provide fruit for those who don’t bring it from home. (Didn’t they have this same timing situation last year? Why was this not a policy communicated and implemented day 1?)

The other issue about the bus timing is how to make the rest of our life work as planned. On Mondays the girls have swim lessons at 5:30. We need to start getting ready for the swim lessons at 4:45 in order to be on time, and since it is only a 30 minute lesson we really want to be on time. If Amy gets home at 5:15, as she did on Wednesday, then that does not work. If she gets home at 4:45 as she did on the other days, she will have to run home and immediately get ready for swimming. Easy, you think. Just pick her up from school. Ah yes. That is what I will do tomorrow because it is easy. But, in mid-September Sarah will have a piano lesson on Mondays from 3:15-3:45. Essentially, as soon as Sarah gets off the bus, I whisk her into the car with a snack and we head to her piano lesson. We then get home around 4. If I need to get Amy from school then I can’t get to her until 4:15, so she would be waiting for 25 minutes. Then we would get home at 4:30 if we are lucky with traffic, and change for swimming 15 minutes later. I know that short turn-around time is not ideal for either kid. I could bring swim gear with me if Sarah and I go from piano to getting Amy, but then that means an awkward 75 minutes with nowhere to be before swimming. The easy fixes of changing the piano day or swimming day are not actually options. And both lessons are important. Now if Amy’s bus could get its sh*t together all will work easily and well. I just don’t like needing to gamble and trust something that has so far proved unreliable. 

I know from past years that the first few weeks of school can have bus debacles and be super stressful in that regard. I had forgotten how much that stress fills my body. Sarah starts school on Thursday. I am hoping we have the same driver or set of drivers from last year so that maybe it will be reliable from day 1. Her pickup time has moved a bit earlier so she needs to have her shoes on and be ready to walk out the door by 6:50. Amy doesn’t even wake up until 7! 

Sarah continues to have too much phlegm on some mornings, meaning that she is spitting it up and feeling crappy. Then it passes and she feels better. We have not been successful at getting her to drink more water, as the doctor had suggested. I have debated for a while about making dietary changes, but enough is enough. It is time to try something. So we are in the phasing out stage with gluten and dairy. Since we still have foods with gluten and dairy in the house, I’m not being extreme in telling Sarah she can’t have such items. I just won’t rebuy them. I will start making more food from scratch again. I really hope this helps because as things are it is rather untenable. This morning Sarah has too much phlegm and I keep thinking about how I don’t want her to have such a morning on Thursday or other school days. It is no fun for any of us.

Sarah and I have not had the greatest week. I just feel grumpy, frustrated, and impatient most of the time when she says, “Why we not talk about hitting people?” Or “I’m not going to poke you in the eye because you love me more than cheese. (Or because I am wearing rings)” To the first I say, “we can talk about it if you want. We just don’t actually hit people.” (Or poke them in the eye or push them, etc). To the second sentence I just don’t understand the logic and that is what gets me most frustrated. She can tell I am frustrated and often says, “Oh. Ok. Let’s talk about crocodiles.” But that doesn’t last very long. I have felt like such a rude, grumpy, snide mom and yet haven’t been able to cry or journal or reason my way into feeling a different response in my body other than full annoyance. I also haven’t responded calmly or kindly to Sarah’s various whining protests about the lunches or dinners I put forth or times when it is time to go and she doesn’t want to get ready, but tells me so with loud protest. I just feel like I want to turn in my parenting badge and tap out of this whole situation. Then I feel even more mean and rotten. I am both desperate for school to start for Sarah and leery of it starting because then I get to worry all the time about getting a call that she isn’t feeling well (see: Phlegm). 

Gregory came for his session with Sarah on Friday. Usually he and Sarah go to her room for time that is just the two of them. This time we all stayed together on the porch and chatted. It was refreshing and humbling to hear Gregory be relaxed and easily responsive to all of Sarah’s inquiries and statements with which I struggle. It was an inspiring model, but I haven’t been able to emulate it.

On the plus side, Amy is teaching Sarah to play solitaire. Sarah is paying attention and following Amy’s directions. I’m so impressed with both of them because that isn’t something I would have attempted to teach Sarah or thought she would attend if the directions were from me. 

One night I attempted to correct Amy’s grammar. She often says, “me and…” when really the sentence should be “… and I.” She and Carl and I debated and discussed various different sentences and grammar rules. I brought in the notion of the Royal We. Amy then won the evening by asking, “What is it when you say ‘we’ but you mean Dad?” 

The week held one other misadventure and that was Carl’s over-the-handlebars fall from his bike on Monday morning. He is relatively ok, all things considered. His phone and bike gps computer are not. His phone took the brunt of the impact to his thigh, so he probably escaped quite a bruise there, but he does need a new phone. He pulled a muscle in his back so has had a stiff and uncomfortable week, in which I suddenly became the strongest and most capable adult in the house for the first time in months. 

May your buses be on time and your phlegm be minimal.

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