July 29

Sarah! W_____! Bear! 

That is how Amy addressed Sarah one day, wanting to get her attention. When the usual attempts didn’t work Amy decided to break out Sarah’s full name. 

We have had some surprising things and some amazing things this week. Sarah stretched out in the bathtub on her back and tipped her head back to have her hair washed!!!! This is phenomenal. I attribute it fully to her swim lessons and her amazing teacher. I also had to throw in the final motivator of saying I would be a sad cat on her shirt (even though she wasn’t wearing a shirt) so I got a bit wetter than usual. Still. This could revolutionize baths going forward. Swim lessons have already helped her get in the tub more readily. This week she also practiced blowing bubbles in the water of her own volition during a play date with yard-pool-owning neighbors.

Yesterday there was huge disappointment when we arrived for our swim lesson and were informed that lightning had just struck nearby so lessons were cancelled. I had two very unhappy kiddos on my hands. Luckily when we arrived home some friends happened to have just walked by to see if we were home. As we left the pool I had promised the girls I would find something exciting to make up for the lost swim lesson. I had no idea what that would be. Friends to the rescue! (Amy just read this whole paragraph by herself with hardly any help!)

When Sarah was a baby she was tiny and for years we struggled with the diagnosis “failure to thrive” which was sometimes also followed in writing with “feeding mismanagement,” which as you may imagine goes a long way towards helping a mom feel good about herself! %&#*! Anyway, it was stressful and hard for years, probably the most stressful part of raising Sarah so far, and that is saying something. She has always been below the 1st percentile for weight for her age. In recent weeks I have realized something startling. She has a belly. She is getting a bit chunky in the midsection. Her arms and legs actually look healthy and fantastic instead of like the limbs of an awkward baby deer. However, since I had checked her weight 6 weeks ago for an appointment with the naturopath I had a data point for my wondering if she was gaining too fast. I checked her again recently and indeed she is gaining a bit too rapidly for what her body probably actually needs. She has gained about a pound a week. In the past when I was trying to outrun the need for a feeding tube (which I did by the skin of my teeth) this would have been amazing. Now it isn’t. Now I actually have to pay attention to her intake in the opposite direction from all previous years of her life. I think some of the rapid gain was due to my slipping into offering more prepackaged/pre-made items instead of homemade food. Store-bought non-dairy yogurts are high in calories and sugar and sometimes she was eating three a day. Now I will only get them occasionally (it took me 3 tries to spell occasionally correctly). I am making my own yogurt, veggie juice, cookies, chocolate bars, and various other foods again. I think I also was shoving food at both girls more during camp and travel because I was worried about them being hungry and it helped keep the peace. I think the whole family will benefit from the changes back towards homemade and whole foods. I hope that this is enough. It also seems that Sarah’s appetite has just increased. This could be because she is in the early stages of puberty or it could be a response to the increased sugar recently or that she is preparing for a growth spurt or that she doesn’t always notice when she is full. I know sometimes when I am really hungry it can take a few minutes for my body to catch up to the fact that I fed it. I think maybe this happens with Sarah or she just wants more of her favorite things. When I suggest taking a few minutes break and having some water she sometimes forgets that she said she was still hungry (after having a yogurt, fresh avocado pudding, and a s’more). Anyway, I am trying to be relaxed about this and not panic.

We had to do a stool test for the naturopath to help determine what Sarah’s body is processing from her food and what further help she may need. Stool tests are no fun. In the past they nearly always set us backward in her potty training or independent use. Even this time it has introduced a hiccup into her normal rhythm, in part because she had to be off of several things that help her digestion and elimination. She also really really really didn't want to poop in a bucket. It attaches to the toilet so in theory it should be easy, but it isn’t. I explained what we had to do and I offered many things to sweeten the deal. I started with offering extra ipad time. Then I added the offer of a brownie. When it seemed that we were in the moment to make or break things I was offering anything she wanted. I said I would make a cake for dinner. Or pizza. ANYTHING. No dice. I decided to cry. Really cry. Not fake crying because she was too upset for fake crying to be funny. I know that when I am truly upset she is very present and concerned about me. I knew that if we didn’t get the poop out then she would hold it for days and it would get bigger and more painful and all of everything would get horrible. I knew that in the future I would legitimately cry tears of frustration. So I turned on my tears, slightly real and slightly acting. She switched instantly from screaming in protest to saying, “it’s ok mom, I’ll do it.” And she did it! Right then! I am a genius! Slightly manipulative, but for a good and important cause. Now we just have to get her system back on track. Even when no bucket is involved she is holding a bit and resisting what her body is telling her. 

I’ve been having the girls clear their plates from the table more often because we have to take care that the cat doesn’t eat people food. Yesterday Amy astounded me by bringing dishes down from the Sarah-Rise room without my even remembering they were there.