Sometimes things don't go as planned and that is the best thing ever even if you don't know it at the time. For Thanksgiving, the white potatoes had gone bad so Sonia and I combined our sweet potatoes, which neither of us eat a ton of, and made mashed sweet potatoes. We learned then that Amy loves mashed sweet potatoes. Because of that I bought Japanese sweet potatoes for variety, which led to my creating sweet potato cream pie. Just use the crust of your choice (if it needs to be baked do that before you add the filling). Bake enough sweet potatoes to give you two cups (without the skins). Puree with 1 cup full-fat coconut milk. Put the filling in the crust. Refrigerate or eat. This is a good recipe.
I wonder when I have a breakthrough and think I have solved life if then I stop thinking the things that led me to the breakthrough because I believe they are solidly a part of my person, when in reality I am still on wobbly fledgling legs. I had been doing so well at ignoring upsets and then I stopped. I started catching the ball of scream and reacting to all the upsets. It has been a rough couple of days. I think I had stopped having my mantra be to ignore things and I think my commitments increased and my sleep decreased. This is not a good recipe.
Last night I slept 10 hours. The only way I have to sleep in these days is to go to bed early, so I went to be just after the girls did. Now to get back to my mantra of ignoring my children more, at least when they yell. I don't yet have an answer for how to make them do something when we need to go somewhere or do some activity and they ignore me. I hate being ignored. Yesterday I resorted to threatening that they wouldn't get to go to a Christmas party at Carl's work if they didn't cooperate. This did work, but I hate that mean energy I have when I am flailing to feel like I have any control whatsoever.
On the plus side... the girls have been helping fill our humidifier (and watering the floor a bit in the process). Somehow Sarah has gotten tall enough to be able to turn on the kitchen faucet without a stool. When did this happen?!?
Yesterday I did some Alexander Technique teaching at the massage school. I shadowed a class that was learning myofascial massage. I haven't shadowed a class in what feels like forever. I had a great experience and I could tell I was calmer about it than I used to be. I still had moments of wondering if I was helping the students at all, but I do know I helped some of them. This is my favorite class to shadow because it involves therapists being still for long periods of time and that can be very challenging. I used to struggle with doing myofascial release because I was so uncomfortable. Then I had AT lessons and was more comfortable and suddenly I could feel what was going on under my hands. I love helping other people become comfortable enough in their own body that they can pay better attention to the client's body. This is all a good reminder that when I am struggling and clashing with the girls, I really deeply need to attend to my own self first so then I can better see what is going on for the girls. Sometimes it isn't clear how to best care for myself when total escape isn't possible. But, I digress. When I was teaching yesterday, I was able to channel some Sarah-Rise room calm presence and not needing anything to happen into my hands-on work. I reminded myself to just be with the students and not need them to change in a particular way, even while I was inviting the change. I love how these two parts of my life (AT and SR) can work so well together and that each helps me be better at the other.
Our new SR room arrangement with a larger table and two chairs has been working wonderfully. Sarah has done many activities at the table. She and I have played Mancala and Othello. With both games I direct her very specifically for each turn so I'm not sure how much she is learning to play the game, but I do remember learning to play some games in this way myself. Both games have small pieces and Sarah loves to ism with small objects so it is extra exciting that she has been able to attend to my directions for several turns before she says she wants to be done and just play with the pieces. And she has been telling me verbally that she wants to be done instead of just beginning to ism with no verbal communication.
Sarah has also pulled a chair to be under the shelf in the SR room and once pulled down a bin of markers, tape, and scissors. This was when she was on her own. I'm impressed with her ingenuity but this is totally not ok otherwise. The shelf could very easily tip and send her flying under a rain of everything on the shelf. I explained in detail why using the chair was not ok and why she needs to ask a grown-up. It seemed like she understood but she has moved the chair again during at least one SR session.
Sarah has done number flashcard play with several volunteers in various games. Yesterday she also played the Around the Wheel game with G. for 22 minutes and then later suggested they play catch with a bean bag, which they did. This is amazing. She also often draws a bicycle on the chalk board that I moved to the dining room.
Amy is starting to branch out with her drawing from just coloring a solid block of color to drawing lines and shapes (blobs).
Anywho, I hope you are all having relaxing weekends.
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