March 24

This week we got 32 hours and 45 minutes. 

On Tuesday Sarah visited the preschool connected to Amy's daycare. It is for 3-4 year olds and the rest of the students are typical kids. Sonia was Sarah's personal attendant. The morning went very well overall and helped point out some things to focus on in the Sarah-Rise room. For instance, Sarah doesn't sing or speak along with other people unless we are the ones to join her. We may have sort of encouraged this given that one of our most successful techniques for helping her language has been to say part of something that she knows and then pause for her to fill in the blank. I think another part of it is her confidence. When she isn't confident in her knowledge or ability then she tends to be very tentative and quiet about it. Her alphabet used to be so very quiet and now she sings/says it pretty strongly, but still with pauses. I think the first step towards helping her with all of this is to get her started with singing or counting and then we join her so she can understand that we can say it together. 

The morning after preschool, Carl had the following conversation with Sarah:

C: Did you like your teacher at school?
S: Like friend
C: You liked your friend at school?
S: Friend wear glasses
C: What was your friend's name?

S: (attempt at saying his name)

We are all set to continue with Sarah-Rise next year and I don't have to do any home schooling paperwork. The mandatory age for schooling in PA is 8 (unless you are in Philly and then it is 6). 

Gymnastics continues to go well, with Sarah listening and attempting to do most of the activities. On Thursday part of the class involved climbing up a steep mat. She was very tentative going forwards and was actually more confidently able when she went backwards. Her triceps are certainly very strong from her own playful strength training. The part of this exercise that I felt most pleased about was that I was able to notice my end-gaining and let go of it. I can easily get too focused on needing to go through all the motions and activities rather than attending to the process and staying present with Sarah. I let go of my need for her to actually climb the mat mountain and we just played as she went part-way up and then came down. We talked about mountains and bears and stayed in Sarah-Rise energy. And in an earlier activity Sarah did a bear walk and even grrr-ed!

In the Sarah-Rise room we continue to make physical activity and participation one of our top goals. The same way that I used to pause and wait for her to look at me or say something before I would do whatever fun thing she was liking, now I wait for her to move. One of her favorite book scenes is when Piggie waves her arms while saying "how did you break your trunk??" We had a great play session with Sarah sitting on my lap while we faced the mirror. When she said "how did you break your trunk?" I would wave my arms and say it very dramatically while she laughed  in delight. Then I started moving her arms with mine. Then I would touch her arms to cue her and as she moved her arms even a tiny bit then I would do my dramatics. Now she does the full arm movement and that is what cues me to do my own version. I again feel so grateful to Mo Willems for his brilliance in creating books that Sarah and I both love.

I am really understanding that to help Sarah go beyond her current limits I need to go beyond my current limits, in thought and action. I need to get off my own butt and move around and try new things. I have a much better time when I really focus on enjoying being together for the sake of being together and reaffirming that it is really ok if she doesn't change at all from where she is right now. It is ok and I love her for who she is right now. When I am present with that thought then I am more present with what is happening and I think Sarah can probably feel it too. 

One day after lunch Sarah came over to me when I was at my desk. She looked at me and said "have short nap." What is exciting about this is that it is her way of asking permission, which is a long-range goal but not something I've been focusing on at the moment. Sonia was in the room with us and had been the one helping Sarah with lunch, so it was even more clear that Sarah was purposefully asking me. With eye contact. She got that nap! 

Our collective culinary genius has produced frozen avocado popsicles. Last week I invented dibs. Normal dibs are blobs of ice cream coated in chocolate and these used to be a staple in our house. Now we don't have any such item and we had the problem of frozen avocado "ice cream" taking too long to defrost. So I started freezing little blobs on a plate and then calling them dibs. Total success. At preschool the other kids were given peanut butter lollipops (pb on a spoon) and it made a big impression on Sarah. Carl had the idea to stick a toothpick in the dibs to make them into lollipops. Sarah started calling them popsicles. Sonia brought over her star-shaped ice cube tray and we put the avocado pudding in the tray with popsicle sticks as handles. Total success again. Some of my GAPS cooking experiments have been complete flops and some of them have me astounded at my own creativity.

Sarah and Amy are having more interactions that feel quite typical and adorable. Some nights as they snuggle in bed they will start laughing and both saying "yuck," referring to a line from one of their favorite books. On Wednesday night when she got in bed next to Amy, Sarah said, "two peas in a pod." This is something I've said maybe twice but not too recently. At the dining table yesterday, Amy said "hi Ra-Ra! hi!" When we told Sarah that Amy had just said hi to her (her focus had been elsewhere), she looked up at Amy and said "hi." This is a first for this particular interaction. In general Sarah's greetings have improved tremendously, but the timing could still use some work. She said goodbye to Sb 15 seconds after Sb had said goodbye (Sb had actually already left the house before Sarah responded).

Grammy and Granddad are visiting and Sarah gave them a super warm and connected greeting. As she came down the stairs her face brightened with delight and then she kept repeating their names, sometimes while looking at them. Compared to when they last saw her, they are aware that she is talking much more and seems to understand the world more.

My personal success this week was having the best birthday ever. It's not that I did anything extraordinary. I just decided that I was really pleased with my 36-year-old self. If people called or emailed or did anything that was great, but I didn't need them to for me to have a good day. In the past I used to really be anxious about who would remember and would take it personally when people didn't. It was much better taking responsibility for having a good day regardless of what anyone did. That said, it was awesome that lots of people did remember and send their love.  And that Sonia did all of the daycare transport and errands so I didn't have to go outside on that cold, drizzly day. And Carl brought home dinner and cake.