I must confess that Carl and I are now completely addicted to doing crossword puzzles. It started with the ones in the newspaper, but then I got a book, and we can’t seem to put it down for long! We work on them together and thus get much farther than we would individually. It is an exercise in sideways thinking and brain flexibility. Once when we finally got a clue, I put my head down on the puzzle. Apparently, my forehead is as good as silly putty at picking up the print, so I had a crossword tattoo for the evening.
This past week was much better than the previous weeks have been in that it felt less stressful and exhausting. We are more flexible with our weekday schedule, no longer having times for art or gymnastics. I’m a bit sad about that, but it also does make things easier. Those activities still happen, but not always with both girls together. Sarah’s zoom meetings with her teacher went wonderfully. She even had a zoom session with Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop to do Ms. Sarah reads. She struggled a bit with how to turn the book so they could see the pictures and her enunciation tends to fall by the wayside when she is overloaded or excited or just reading out loud in general. Amy did a zoom gymnastics demonstration and had one zoom time with her school classmates and one Spanish class with Grandma. Amy had less school work than in previous weeks which really helped the days feel more flexible. I spent a lot of time each day reading or working on crossword puzzles.
One area of difficulty pertained to Sarah’s desire for Amy’s hedgehog nightgown. She has wanted it for weeks and we have spent many minutes listening to her feelings about it. I secretly ordered one for Sarah, knowing how unbearably impatient she would be if she knew it was coming. But then… she started asking me to see if any more were available. I pretended to look and order one, but then realized if it arrived that same day she would have erroneous expectations going forward. So I fessed up and ruined that day and the next for all of us! I should have just maintained that there were none available. Sarah became insufferable in her desire to have the nightgown NOW. Finally, after probably only 24 hours of waiting, it arrived. All was well for another 24 hours. And then… Sarah spilled chocolate ice cream on her new nightgown right before her Friday zoom meeting with her class! She was distraught that it had a stain so she wanted it cleaned right away, but she also couldn’t bear to be parted from it. Needless to say, she missed her zoom meeting. After 30 minutes of intense screaming and crying she was ready to bike on Zwift while she waited for her nightgown. She now wears a smock whenever she eats something that could result in a stain.
During the various nightgown troubles, Amy had moments of being absolutely amazing with Sarah. When I reached my limit, Amy somehow had room. She was kind and encouraging, saying she knew it was hard, but Sarah could do it. Amy also helped Sarah get things set for her Facetime with G. The girls have had many times of playing easily together and Sarah has started to sit in Amy’s room at bedtime while Carl reads out loud.
Often my exhaustion and stress stem from resisting how things are. I don’t want them to be that way! In many ways I have probably been resisting aspects of Sarah since she was born. Some of this resistance led me to work my rear off and brought amazing benefits, such as avoiding a feeding tube and running Sarah-Rise. It can seem like a tricky balance to accept how things are and work to change them. This week I have aimed to view Sarah’s upsets as I would a rain squall. They aren’t my fault and they will pass, usually in short order. Sometimes this helps and sometimes I forget.
When things get easier it is possible to forget when they were hard. It used to be a huge struggle every week to get Sarah to bathe and wash her hair. Now she (mostly easily) takes a shower multiple times per week and washes her hair all by herself.
Sarah enjoys going for walks to the corner next the the playground because there is a bus shelter and she can watch traffic. She also likes gift bags so for one walk she brought an empty gift bag with her. She has also been enjoying playing with Amy’s American Girl doll when Amy is willing to share her beloved Joss.
Amy groomed all of our My Little Ponies, most of which were mine when I was younger. She then arranged them in a large parade.
One night Amy led an art class, teaching us how to draw butterflies. It was fun to see the different personalities of our butterflies. Mine was grumpy and was tapping her foot. Sarah’s was perhaps Picassoesque. Carl drew multiple butterflies that each had a different wing design. Amy’s was the biggest and most carefully crafted.
Yesterday, there was a water main break on our street. Before the repair crew arrived, the girls had a great time splashing in the stream. Sarah also loved watching the repair crew while wearing ear protection. The drilling was so intense that I could feel our dining room table vibrate.
Olivia caught her first mouse! I’m glad that Carl and I were awake for it so it didn’t get delivered as a present.
Lastly, we had a Facetime dinner date with friends last night and it was wonderful! It felt much more like really being together than I had anticipated. We even ordered from the same restaurant.
May your squalls pass quickly.
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