January 13

Sarah had her annual audiology evaluation on Friday. The good news is that her hearing is about the same as it was a year ago. She has moderate hearing loss in her left ear and minimal loss in her right ear. This means it is still optional to get a hearing aid. That has been something I resisted in the past, but now I am thinking it may be worth the annoyance of paperwork and extra appointments to at least have one for her. Even though technically her right ear is strong enough to do the job for both ears, I wonder if she would have a better/easier/more focused time in school if she could hear perfectly. The annoying paperwork is because insurance won’t cover the hearing aid so the audiologist said I would need to apply for medical assistance. 

Sarah had a good week at school. On Friday she joined her neurotypical peers for 15 minutes of Science class and 15 minutes of Religion. What her primary teacher does so beautifully is to take her for the last 15 minutes of class so that when that time is done it is because the class is over, regardless of Sarah’s behavior. As Sarah is able, they increase the time. 

Carl and I were each independently noticing and inwardly celebrating how much Sarah and Amy play together. This morning when they woke up they stayed in bed singing a song they adapted to be about Rizzo the Rat. 

Yesterday we tried snow tubing. Sarah and I each went once and that was quite enough, thank you very much! I need a slow lazy-river type snow tubing experience. Amy screamed the whole time but loved it. She and Carl went twice and then the hill was closed for maintenance. For all that Amy like it, I did notice that afterwards she had no reserves to deal with disappointment. Something minor didn’t go as she wanted and she was a pile of intense tears and general disgruntlement for a long time. My guess is that part of that was due to the heightened adrenaline of the tubing, combined with being hungry. 

Sarah is desperately eager for it to be her birthday or at least the day of her party. Yesterday morning she had intense screaming and crying about that. My mom must have temporarily inhabited my body because I was completely calm and relaxed about it and had as much time and space as Sarah needed. So often I fight the fight or walk away from her screaming. It is lovely when I remember the healing power of a good crying session and truly have the space to honor it and witness it. After her session, Sarah took a nap. When she awoke she told me she was feeling better after her nap. Then she asked again to go bowling (her party is at a bowling alley). I said no, but this time she didn’t get upset. 

Love to all of you. May you hear what you need to hear and have space for any and all feelings.