Sometimes people ask me the ages of my children. This is a very common thing for people to ask parents. Sometimes it is when I am with my kids. This week after one such moment I was wondering to myself what I would ever say if someone asked, “what is wrong with her?” regarding Sarah, while in her presence (they never have). I realized that I would answer that absolutely nothing is wrong with her. She has some things about her that are different and needs some help and more time to learn some things but not a single thing is wrong. What I loved most about this moment in my head was that it suddenly was the absolute truth. Probably for the first time ever. The absolute truth with no room for wiggling. And if that is true, well, then my friends, perhaps there is nothing wrong with me either. Or with you. Or any of us. Well, I’m not evolved enough to quite see that with absolutely everyone, but I’ll take what I’ve got for the moment. :)
On Wednesday afternoon, Sarah and I played three full games of Pengaloo (an easy matching game involving dice, penguins, and eggs) super easily. Then she wanted to stop playing the game and just play with the penguins. I took a short constructive rest nap next to her. She played with penguins and then went to her room and took a nap. It was so clear that after the challenge of playing three full games she needed an ism break.
Wednesday evening Sarah had a massage with J. that was more similar to the first few, where she sat up often and talked with me most of the time. After some deep work in her abdomen and low back area she started talking with me about when she accidentally had a big dunk at the pool at my office (the rope she was using for support moved unexpectedly). It quickly became clear this was a verbal ism with no room for other topics, but room for me to respond with varied comments as long as they were about the pool and her big dunk. My guess is that this was triggered by the massage work and that her dunking experience was scary. On Tuesday I had my session with J. and he worked on the same areas on me that he then worked with on Sarah. I experienced my intense fears about the girls and school and then as my muscles let go so did my fears. It was amazing. It felt as if it was my muscles rather than my brain that changed my thoughts. I wonder if Sarah stores some of her fears in the same place as I do and if that is why she started talking about her scary experience when she did.
Tonight Sarah got a ride up to bed on Carl’s back. She started waving to objects that she passed and telling them goodnight. I love her spunky smiley creative self that delights in doing such new things, that delights in connecting with us and making us laugh. I love the delighted look she has in her eyes when she pretends the cats on her pajama pants are sad. I love that she can now tell us what book or tv show she is referencing. I love that she quickly copies games that Amy creates and that Amy also seeks to copy some of Sarah’s moves.
Today my girls were the only students in ballet for the first half of class. Notably, Sarah stayed sitting with Amy and the teacher and participating the whole time until she needed to pee and that plus another student showing up seemed to change the dynamic. Maybe she had worked her participating muscles to exhaustion and just needed to go play with the curtain for a bit. The biggest progression compared to last year is that I am relaxed about all of this.
Here is G.’s note from a week ago (I especially love the last line!): "In the Sarah Rise room, we bring authenticity and create as natural an environment as possible. However, it still remains a therapeutic space. Does that make sense? In many ways, I see the same things happen with just my presence and certain children. That is, once a relationship is established, just my face can help generate a change in a therapeutic direction. Anyway, in the room, I love seeing Sarah and Amy move through their typical sister stuff…the button pushing and button exposing and drama. However, in the room, we’ve shifted. Amy may snatch a thing, or Sarah might put her chin on Amy’s head when Amy is a little stressed and then look at me for a reaction. However, this is diminishing week by week and they are working out actual challenges while kind-of avoiding much of the drama. It’s the power of the room, which is really just the power of the relationship and history. It’s like the Sarah Rise room is a sort-of chapel, a cathedral…of joy, of respect, of relationship, of communication, of human potential.”
My dear readers, I strive to keep my updates free from topics other than our journey and my processing of experiences. I will take a moment now to digress. If you have not already registered to vote, please do so now. When election day arrives, please vote for Hillary. In this family we are about striving for love. Voting for Hillary is voting for love. Not voting for her is voting for fear and meanness, excluding people, and making fun of them. Voting for Hillary is a vote for celebrating differences and each other. So, please. Please. Please.
Now back to your regularly scheduled update. I hope your weekends are full of love.
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