I’m writing later in the day than usual because the kids had a sleepover at Anna’s last night, so Carl and I went out to dinner at a restaurant!! We were outside, but this was the first time in over a year and a half. This morning we went out to breakfast at a place where we could be next to a giant open window. As with so many things, the experience was slightly weird and novel and also like putting on an old familiar shoe. Similarly, Carl was away this past week on a business trip for the first time in ages. The main area of impact for those of us at home was bedtime, since usually we have one parent per kid, and bedtime routines happen simultaneously.
Sarah’s bedtime routine usually involves being told about 5 times to come upstairs and brush her teeth before she actually does so. Then some time reading Goodnight Moon to herself. Then hanging out on her bed with one of us and going through her favorite conversation loops or phrases…
”Mouse the mouse is in the house” (with "raise the roof" dance moves),
Snuggling together as she pretends to be a mouse in my house,
Saying that we love each other more than cheese,
“Tick-tock goes the very big clock” with Sarah on my lap as I rock her back and forth,
pretending to be Gerald sneezing or Piggie getting thrown by the sneeze a la Pigs Make Me Sneeze,
talking about how we will miss Sarah when she is away at the sleepover,
“hickory dickory dock… the clock strikes 4, he runs to Anna’s car door and closes it gently” while my mousy fingertips run up and down her arm,
drinking lots of water from a water bottle by her bed,
“tick tock whoa” as she rocks herself back and forth with her legs spilling off the bed towards the floor,
brief foot rubs,
stretches as she sits criss-cross and alternates bringing each foot towards her chin several times,
tuck-in, and
“sad mouse” head snuzzle on her chest.
-End Scene-
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Amy’s bedtime routine involves one of us reading a chapter book (Harry Potter read by Carl until all 7 books were done; now The Golden Compass ready by me) while she cleans her room and brushes her teeth and retainer.
Speaking of retainers…
I really think I had proof of angels this week. If you recall, Amy’s retainer had vanished, and I had looked high and low for it many times. She was due to be fitted for a new one on Thursday. Wednesday morning I woke up and remembered that angels or guides need to be asked for help, or so I’ve heard. I had certainly asked before but I was in a panic of searching at that time. On this particular morning I prayed “please help me find the retainer” and I felt the answer back, “We will, but you have to look again.” I also had an image come to mind of the sleeper sofa. I had already looked between the cushions but this vision was about opening it to bed form. When I got downstairs I realized I couldn’t open it all the way easily because Sarah’s Zwift bike set-up is super heavy, and normally Carl is the one to move it. But he was away. So I pulled the bed open part-way and peered into the depths, down to what I discovered was a black cloth lining the bottom of the bed when pulled fully open. If I had pulled all the way then this would have been pulled taut obscuring … the retainer. There it was. Just sitting there in its innocent clear plastic glory. When I showed Carl how I found it he was just as amazed as I was that I had found it at all because the location was so unusual.
Sarah loves creating different names for herself and does so fluidly and easily. Her latest is to call herself Baby Uh-Oh, based on how she and sitter C said “uh oh” when playing about the Pigs Make Me Sneeze book. When Sarah greeted Carl yesterday with a giant hug, she called him Daddy Uh-Oh. All week long as Sarah and I discussed how I would miss her when she was gone, we would go through a list of all the people I would miss (all her): Baby Mouse The Mouse, Baby Musical Note, Baby Gymkhana, Baby Uh-Oh, Baby Panda, Baby Tiger, Baby Door, Baby Window, Baby Car Door, Baby Goodnight Moon House.
Amy has recently enjoyed pretending to be Mira, Royal Detective, which is the name of a show she has been watching. She made herself a badge and she takes notes on mysteries to solve. Several times she would go on the case of the missing Sarah, always finding her easily.
Thursday was Sarah’s last day of school, and we returned her chrome book and other supplies. Her teacher brought all of her classmates down to say hello/goodbye. Sarah was saying how she was excited to return in person in the fall. That ten minutes of seeing her school people was way more emotional for me than I expected. I just wanted to cry both from the community that still welcomed her and suddenly doubting my decisions from this past year. I had to remind myself that each decision made sense at the time, and when I had offered Sarah the chance to go in person for her final months she opted to stay home. Still, when we got to the car after dashing through the pouring rain that started in the time we were in the school building, I needed a short hard cry before I could drive. Sarah was very kind, asking if I was ok, and saying she hoped I felt better soon. Given that there have been times when she has laughed at my distress, her care was extra sweet. Anyway, she is now a rising 7th grader and will bus to school in person in the fall. I will miss my Baby Uh-Oh, but I also look forward to that familiar and novel moment.
Lots of love to all of you. May you find whatever you seek even if it is hiding sneakily.
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