Sarah had her school sock-hop so she got to wear her plaid dress, pink jacket, cats eye glasses, and the nail polish her classmates sent home. She had a great time. Amy’s class was celebrating Dr. Seuss and Read Across America so she had various ways to dress each day. My favorite is always mismatch day because that is how my kids dress almost all the time. On Friday it was crazy hair or hat day so she colored her hair with hair chalk in streaks of many colors.
Friday morning Sarah had her well-visit with the doctor she has had since she was born. When the doctor entered the room Sarah greeted her enthusiastically by name. I was appreciating how much Sarah does this with people and thinking maybe I could emulate her a bit when I greet people. It also always feels good to see this doctor because she knows Sarah’s whole history and celebrates how amazing she is and how far she has come. When I took Sarah to school after her appointment, all of
the students from her resource room came to meet her. It was so nice. I love how she is loved.
After buying the online course on positive parenting, I haven’t listened to any more of it. Instead, I remembered my copy of Parent Effectiveness Training by Dr. Thomas Gordon. My mom gave it to me when Sarah was born and I read part of it and then basically forgot about it. It is excellent and is already helping me think differently about how I approach most parenting struggles. I had at least a couple of moments that felt different and successful. For one such moment, when Sarah came home from school she started loudly insisting that she would wear shorts to go get Amy from her school. Instead of being louder or forcing, I just let her go upstairs to do her usual after-school things. I let the feeling of frustration and powerlessness wash through me. I cried. When Sarah came back downstairs she hadn’t changed into shorts. She asked me what was wrong. I explained feeling frustrated and powerless but concerned about her being warm enough. She listened and then we left to get Amy, with Sarah still in her regular school clothes. Normally such situations could escalate but it seemed like when I stopped fighting the moment it could pass more easily. Sometimes things can be true and wise and obvious but they are only obvious once someone points them out to me. I am hopeful. I feel like I see a path to be more of the parent I want to be in a way that is easier instead of harder than what I have been doing. (Now please everyone pretend I didn’t write any of this so that I don’t jinx it and lose my insights!)
I’m away for the weekend visiting one of my best friends and it has been lovely. The only downside is that my cold peaked while here so I have not slept well and I don’t think my friend has either. Last night I had a lot of trouble sleeping because I couldn’t breathe through my nose and sometimes I coughed a lot. In the wee hours of the morning my friend came in to ask if I was ok and if I wanted some hot water with honey. I almost declined out of some misplaced streak of grown up independence. But I said yes and it was so lovely to have that little bit of help at that moment, and then I finally slept for a couple of hours with a calm chest and I could even breathe well. Sometimes it is the little things.
May you have someone to offer help when you are having a rough time. May you remember to accept it.
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