Six years ago today I got the best birthday present I could ever wish for. It is a present that renews itself each year. Happy birthday to my sweet artist Amy! And I tell you, I don’t feel a day over 40!
Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop are here to help us celebrate. They have also helped rescue wooden mice from one game that got put inside a plastic pig from another game (by Amy) and have been trapped for a year. This is a miracle.
I have been thinking a lot about trust. I often don’t trust Sarah about her decision not to wear a coat when it is cold. This week I received two lessons showing me that I can trust her more. On a particularly cold day when it was time to get Amy from school, Sarah requested her coat and asked to have it zipped. Another day when we returned home with Amy and it was snowy and blustery, Sarah wanted to stay outside and play. Given how little snow we got this winter I let her do it and after several minutes she said she was cold and wanted to go inside. These moments may seem so mundane, but the important thing is that I can trust Sarah to tell me when she is cold and ask for what she needs to take care of herself. What if I could trust her about more things more often? at least when timing and circumstances allow. What if I could trust life a bit more?
Yesterday I felt a bit sorry for myself because I had morning plans that I thought were perfect birthday-eve plans with two friends, but then in the middle of the first I had to go get Sarah from school because she was sick. I had known when I sent her to school that she wasn’t 100% but I thought she was still in relatively good shape. It turns out it was an ear infection and then her ear drum ruptured so now we are dealing with drainage (ew gross) and drops (you have probably heard the screams of protest). The good thing is that because the ear drum ruptured we are able to do localized drops instead of a systemic oral antibiotic, which wouldn’t be good for her digestive system that has already had three rounds of antibiotics this winter. The other plan that changed was that I had been intending to go to Amy’s class to help her hand out birthday treats but then I needed to be with Sarah and take her to the doctor. One of the people who works at Amy’s school is also a sitter and friend who has known Amy since before she was born. It turns out that when I couldn’t make it, she went in my stead. I just got all teary hearing this. I love feeling like friends have my back without my even asking. Another friend picked Amy up from school. The village certainly makes life feel easier, especially when the village support system activates with just a few hours of notice.
In other news, I forgot to mention that Sarah has been buttoning and zipping her school pants all by herself for weeks!!!!!
With Sc on Monday, Sarah said “Sc, I want to be an Uber driver when I grow up.” Yesterday Sarah told me, “Mom, On Monday I will read Brown Bear Brown Bear with Sc!” I love this clear and delighted communication.
I did the ATEC autism evaluation checklist again as I have the past couple of years regarding Sarah. This year her score was higher than last time. The lower the score the better so this was slightly surprising and disappointing. The good thing is that each time I do it they send me a summary of my answers along with the score. It is so subjective. Last year I apparently said she could have meaningful conversations. This year I answered that she couldn’t. Neither is really a true answer. Sometimes she can and sometimes she can’t. What do they mean by meaningful? At what age level? I have more meaningful conversations with Amy than I do with Sarah but Sarah’s ability continues to improve. It’s not that my conversations with Sarah aren’t meaningful, it is that I raised the bar of my expectations of her eventual capability. So maybe the score is useful as a metric and maybe it isn’t. I am certainly aware that she is on the spectrum and isn’t a neurotypical child. I am also aware that she continues to grow and learn and develop. That is all I really need to know.
With Sc on Monday, Sarah said “Sc, I want to be an Uber driver when I grow up.” Yesterday Sarah told me, “Mom, On Monday I will read Brown Bear Brown Bear with Sc!” I love this clear and delighted communication.
I did the ATEC autism evaluation checklist again as I have the past couple of years regarding Sarah. This year her score was higher than last time. The lower the score the better so this was slightly surprising and disappointing. The good thing is that each time I do it they send me a summary of my answers along with the score. It is so subjective. Last year I apparently said she could have meaningful conversations. This year I answered that she couldn’t. Neither is really a true answer. Sometimes she can and sometimes she can’t. What do they mean by meaningful? At what age level? I have more meaningful conversations with Amy than I do with Sarah but Sarah’s ability continues to improve. It’s not that my conversations with Sarah aren’t meaningful, it is that I raised the bar of my expectations of her eventual capability. So maybe the score is useful as a metric and maybe it isn’t. I am certainly aware that she is on the spectrum and isn’t a neurotypical child. I am also aware that she continues to grow and learn and develop. That is all I really need to know.
My headaches seem to be under control. I still get them but only once every few days and they aren’t horrendous. I am up to my full level of meds and I am also continuing with weekly Jenny-Rise sessions and I have renewed my practice of doing Alexander Technique constructive rest. This feels like just the right combination. I also saw an amazing video this week about should movements and muscles. I realized that I tend to forget about my serratus anterior. When I think about lengthening my pecs while remembering my serratus anterior then my whole upper body feels more open and supported. My shoulder joint feels freer and my kinesthetic sense of where it is feels more accurate after my Jenny-Rise time this week. Working with my AT teacher is helping me get even more comfortable while giving massages and ever more aware of my habits in all realms. Reading the trigger point bible feels like drinking from a well of delicious water. I had wonderful teaching experiences this week where I learned things I will now implement with all students from now on. Anyway, I’m feeling blessed by the convergence of all of these things.
Thank you all for being part of my life.
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