Happy Thanksgiving! This year was possibly the least stressful, most relaxed Thanksgiving I’ve had since becoming a parent. I kept thinking that I must have been forgetting to do something. I did almost all of the cooking ahead of time so it was just a matter of reheating for the actual feast. Carl facilitated packing for our weekend and listening to Sarah’s bigger-than-usual upset when her technology turn was over. Later, when Sarah asked to do “Sincere my dear” 15 minutes before our target lunch time, I was able to say yes! I wasn’t rushing around doing things. Sonia and her partner also brought a lot of delicious food, as always. We had a wonderful meal and a relaxed time hanging out afterwards. Somehow the subject of dancing to Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” came up, so Carl put it on and all the grownups instantly started dancing. Amy sat there looking at us as if we were a little bit nuts. That made us laugh and dance all the more.
We spent the rest of the long weekend at our mountain house, enjoying a bit of snow. The good thing about our driveway is that it is so steep it makes for great sledding. The bad thing about our driveway is that it is so steep our car sometimes can’t make it up if it is at all icy. When we first arrived it hadn’t snowed and it was fine, but we also hadn’t brought snow pants and Amy was the only one to bring boots. So on Friday after it snowed, I drove home to grab snow gear. When I returned, I couldn’t make it up the driveway. Luckily Carl was able to get the car half-way to the garage so he could use an extension cord to charge the car, which is fully electric. Otherwise we would have been in a pickle with not enough range to get home. We also have another hill that works for sledding so the car in the middle of the driveway wasn’t a deterrent.
Yesterday the little bit of snow melted slightly and Amy was extremely upset. She had had so much fun with the snow on Friday, and she felt like there wasn’t enough left to do anything with it. I’m all for feelings and clearing them, but sometimes it seems like she gets stuck in intense feelings and that they won’t abate on their own. In such situations I make her have some water and a snack. So far that has seemed to help. I remind myself of this sometimes when things feel overwhelming for me. Just pause and take care of basic human needs and then reassess the situation. Amy rallied after her water and snack, and Carl added snow to the sledding hill so they ended up having a good time.
Earlier in the week Sarah and I assembled a marble run together. That was a refreshing change of pace from her just wanting to do “sincere my dear” snuggles/napping with me and nothing else. Another nice Mom-Sarah time happened on Friday when we went on a long walk together. That walk started when she headed out from our time sledding. We thought she was heading into the house, but luckily I noticed her going towards the walking path in the woods. I trailed about 20 feet behind her, following her bright pink hat. She went quite a distance before looking back and noticing me. She told me she was exploring. While I’m glad she wanted to go for a long walk, I did remind her that she needs to tell us before starting such a thing. It is one of those moments that is scary to think about how it might have gone if I didn’t see her when she left our driveway.
Yesterday Sarah sat on my bed and pretended to be Toad waiting for the mail. This is from a Frog and Toad story by Arnold Lobel. Sarah delighted in saying it was her sad time of day, just like Toad. I pretended to be Frog sitting next to her waiting for the mail. I also wrote her a letter, as Frog does, and used a stuffed animal to be the snail delivering the letter. She loved it. We all took turns writing letters to Toad and pretending to be the delivery snail. Sarah read each letter, even the ones she wrote herself, and then resumed happily being in her sad time of day.
May you all have warm snuggles, timely food, and company in your sad time of day.
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