November 28: Feasts, Dancing, Sledding, and Waiting for Snails to Deliver The Mail

Happy Thanksgiving! This year was possibly the least stressful, most relaxed Thanksgiving I’ve had since becoming a parent. I kept thinking that I must have been forgetting to do something. I did almost all of the cooking ahead of time so it was just a matter of reheating for the actual feast. Carl facilitated packing for our weekend and listening to Sarah’s bigger-than-usual upset when her technology turn was over. Later, when Sarah asked to do “Sincere my dear” 15 minutes before our target lunch time, I was able to say yes! I wasn’t rushing around doing things.  Sonia and her partner also brought a lot of delicious food, as always. We had a wonderful meal and a relaxed time hanging out afterwards. Somehow the subject of dancing to Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” came up, so Carl put it on and all the grownups instantly started dancing. Amy sat there looking at us as if we were a little bit nuts. That made us laugh and dance all the more. 

We spent the rest of the long weekend at our mountain house, enjoying a bit of snow. The good thing about our driveway is that it is so steep it makes for great sledding. The bad thing about our driveway is that it is so steep our car sometimes can’t make it up if it is at all icy. When we first arrived it hadn’t snowed and it was fine, but we also hadn’t brought snow pants and Amy was the only one to bring boots. So on Friday after it snowed, I drove home to grab snow gear. When I returned, I couldn’t make it up the driveway. Luckily Carl was able to get the car half-way to the garage so he could use an extension cord to charge the car, which is fully electric. Otherwise we would have been in a pickle with not enough range to get home. We also have another hill that works for sledding so the car in the middle of the driveway wasn’t a deterrent. 

Yesterday the little bit of snow melted slightly and Amy was extremely upset. She had had so much fun with the snow on Friday, and she felt like there wasn’t enough left to do anything with it. I’m all for feelings and clearing them, but sometimes it seems like she gets stuck in intense feelings and that they won’t abate on their own. In such situations I make her have some water and a snack. So far that has seemed to help. I remind myself of this sometimes when things feel overwhelming for me. Just pause and take care of basic human needs and then reassess the situation. Amy rallied after her water and snack, and Carl added snow to the sledding hill so they ended up having a good time. 

Earlier in the week Sarah and I assembled a marble run together. That was a refreshing change of pace from her just wanting to do “sincere my dear” snuggles/napping with me and nothing else. Another nice Mom-Sarah time happened on Friday when we went on a long walk together. That walk started when she headed out from our time sledding. We thought she was heading into the house, but luckily I noticed her going towards the walking path in the woods. I trailed about 20 feet behind her, following her bright pink hat. She went quite a distance before looking back and noticing me.  She told me she was exploring. While I’m glad she wanted to go for a long walk, I did remind her that she needs to tell us before starting such a thing. It is one of those moments that is scary to think about how it might have gone if I didn’t see her when she left our driveway. 

Yesterday Sarah sat on my bed and pretended to be Toad waiting for the mail. This is from a Frog and Toad story by Arnold Lobel. Sarah delighted in saying it was her sad time of day, just like Toad. I pretended to be Frog sitting next to her waiting for the mail. I also wrote her a letter, as Frog does, and used a stuffed animal to be the snail delivering the letter. She loved it. We all took turns writing letters to Toad and pretending to be the delivery snail. Sarah read each letter, even the ones she wrote herself, and then resumed happily being in her sad time of day. 

May you all have warm snuggles, timely food, and company in your sad time of day.

November 21: Thumbs, Socks, and Baking

On Monday Amy fell during an indoor flag football game in PE and hurt her left thumb. It was swollen and bruised. She told me about it just as we were getting ready to go to swim lessons, so I didn’t do anything about it. Tuesday  Sarah and Amy and I tried in vain to get Amy’s thumb checked to make sure it wasn’t broken. We tried Urgent Care because I wanted a place with an x-ray machine. There was no wait to check in, but their x-ray machine was broken. We went across the street to Med Express. When the parking lot was filled to capacity, I should have just driven home. However, I parked two blocks away and we walked to the door. The door had a sign saying to wait in your car and call to register. I called. It was busy. On the fourth try I got through and was put on hold for 5 minutes. When I spoke to a person they said they were at capacity and couldn’t even put us on the list. I was told that we could come back in an hour to call to get her on the list, but we would have to be in the parking lot when I called. Um. No. We went home. Amy’s thumb has steadily been getting better so I am assuming all is well. 

About two weeks ago when Sarah had her piano lesson, her teacher was wearing piano key socks. As soon as we got home, Sarah put on her piano key socks. This was a huge change from her constant choice of Elephant and Piggie socks. This past week the girls received gifts of socks from a friend. Amy’s socks had cats and books, and Sarah’s socks had staffs and musical notes. Sarah put hers on immediately and didn’t want to take them off again even after two days when I said they needed to be washed. To her credit, despite some yelling, she did part with them. I ordered a few more pairs so now she can wear her new favorite socks daily.

Yesterday Sarah was excited to have two Anat Baniel Method lessons. She has been receiving such lessons since she was a baby. It is really gentle bodywork that helps wake up new neural pathways. Sarah has been requesting lessons for months. She loves her practitioner, who travels to Pittsburgh a few times a year, and she really loves watching buses as they pass the office window. In between her lessons we went to Starbucks and watched more buses. It was a good day.

The girls have been doing mostly-independent baking lately which I fully support by buying box-mixes. Amy is getting more confident about putting things in and taking them out of the oven. Sarah has been doing that part for a while, but ovens are hot and scary so Amy has been nervous and tentative. Amy loves baking. Sarah likes it but her real love is to make sauces with Carl for Hello Fresh meals. Or sauces that she makes up and uses with anything. She likes to combine ketchup, mustard, and mayo plus some spice packets, and then she dips every aspect of her meal in the sauce, whether it be a hot dog or grapes.

Sarah has grown 1/4 inch since March! This is huge because I thought she had stopped growing entirely. She is 4’9” and 1/4.” Amy has grown 2 inches since March and is 5’1.” Didn’t I just have infants?!

November 14: Balancing Acts

Carl had Veteran’s day off, which was fortunate since Sarah had a half day, but I was teaching and wouldn’t be home in time to meet her bus. Carl met her bus and later picked Amy up from her after-school activity. He also took Sarah to the park to ride her bike. She is getting better at using it as a balance bike and even used the pedals some when he held the bike to help stabilize it. Given that she has done her stationary Zwift biking for 2900 miles (over 200 hours) over the past year and a half-ish, she certainly knows how to pedal. So once the balance is there for her, she will absolutely be able to bike in a non-stationary pedaling way. To  put her biking distances and time in context, she has biked only slightly less than Carl has in the same time period. His biking has been outside on trails and in races for much of that, which is harder than Zwift, but still! The amount she has biked is notable.

Sarah’s mouth has some overcrowding of teeth on the bottom, so her orthodontist wants two removed. Several months ago she had 5 removed and had to be completely sedated. Given that she did well when her EEG leads were placed with the aid of laughing gas, I asked the oral surgeon at our consultation if we could try this surgery with just laughing gas and a pill to help her relax. He said that would be fine. So she is scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is a day she has off from school anyway. 

Grandma made new pajamas and pants for Sarah out of multicolored musical note flannel. Sarah loves them. It is really wonderful to have someone who can custom make clothes to make dreams come true. We also had a nice dinner with Grandma and Grandpa on Friday night. 

In general I’ve been starting play relaxing music in the background while we have dinner. I’m aiming to expand the scope of what we all listen to and recognize, especially regarding classical music. Sarah usually balks a little because she would rather listen to her new favorite song, Josh Ritter’s “Girl in the War.” Otherwise it is going well, despite Carl and Amy insisting that all Enya songs sound the same.

Carl and I are enjoying an overnight date thanks to Sonia and her boyfriend who arrived yesterday at 1 and are staying with the girls until today at 1. Carl and I went out to dinner for the first time since the summer and this morning we will have brunch at a place that has tree-house dining areas. Unfortunately those specific areas are booked waaaaay ahead but we will still appreciate being surrounded by trees in the regular dining area. 

Yesterday Sarah and I had some clashing moments of discord. I don’t know why some things always catch me by surprise when they are as predictable as the sunrise. Almost every weekend day just as I am about to fix lunch, Sarah asks to me to do “sincere my dear.” That means she wants to snuggle in my bed and trade favorite phrases or take a nap. And every time she asks I feel frustrated because I’m hungry and want to fix lunch! Going forward my plan is to put her Sincere My Dear times in my calendar and plan around them. Maybe an earlier lunch or a mid-morning snack and a later lunch. Anything so I’m not thrown off balance and feeling grumpy. 

May you all be prepared for what you know to expect and may you find your balance easily.

November 7: Hip Hip Hooray

Trick-or-treating went well. It wasn’t too cold and the sun was even shining when the girls started out. Amy went with some friends of hers and Sarah went with Anna. Carl and I stayed at home to hand out candy, realizing how little we were needed as parents at that moment.

Everyone was well all week! We are still well! In theory, I know we are all well most of the time, but given the previous week with Sarah this still felt notable. Sarah didn’t have school on Monday so after 4 days at home she was in the groove of being home and did not want to go to school on Tuesday. It didn’t help that Amy had Tuesday off because her school is a polling place so it is always closed on Election Day. When Sarah protests largely in the morning it is easy for me to feel tense and anxious. Tuesday Sarah was full of screams and resistance. Carl was patient, creative, and loving as he encouraged Sarah through every step of getting ready for school. He didn’t panic about the time ticking away, but focused on keeping Sarah in good spirits even if there were detours from her normal morning preparations. He encouraged her to put on a bathrobe and slippers so the two of them could match for coming down to breakfast. They talked about lightbulbs and ceiling fans, specifically the one in the master bedroom. After breakfast they detoured to the basement to get a new lightbulb to replace one that had burned out. Thanks to Carl's brilliance, Sarah was happily ready for the bus. I will give myself credit for not interfering. That took serious effort too!

Sarah and I met with her neurologist on Wednesday. I asked about giving her CBD since her night-time startle seizures still happen despite increasing her anti-seizure meds. The doctor said actually, given the type of seizure he thinks she is having, he would not recommend CBD at all because in some cases it makes things worse. I’m so glad I asked! He did order bloodwork and will see us again in three months. Sarah handled the bloodwork like a champ as she always does. I told the nurse that the last time she had bloodwork done they needed to use a vein in her hand. This nurse felt confident she could find one in the front of Sarah’s elbow. After an attempt that involved moving the needle all around in vain (ahem), the nurse switched to Sarah’s hand. Next time I will be more forceful in saying to use Sarah’s hand and not attempt another location.

Amy got the first dose of the covid vaccine!! Her school held a clinic, which was great in terms of location. What wasn’t quite ideal was that one nurse didn’t show up so they were short-staffed. The line was looooong and slooooooow despite having an appointment. Luckily half way through our hour-long wait to get the shot, we realized that Amy could sit at a cafeteria table and do some of her homework. I was able to get my booster at the same time, so that was great too. Still, the whole process took 90 minutes by the time all was said and done and we were home.

We had been waiting until Amy got her vaccine to tell the girls about our plans for December. We will be going to Florida and spending a couple of masked days at the Harry Potter World in Orlando before we go to a rental house by a beach. They were both super excited, but Amy was bursting at the seams with joy given that she is the one most into witches and HP.

My hip is in much better shape now. A fellow Alexander Technique teacher suggested a way of resting a few minutes each day that takes all of the pressure off of my hip, and that definitely helps. The most strikingly impactful thing, though, was when I did my Alexander teaching. When I was in that mode it was almost as if I had never had a hip issue at all. How I held myself and moved changed to be clearer, more fluid, and less jammed down on my legs. Giving massages also helped me use myself in this good way. So it seems that all I have to do to recover is keep working and teaching. 

Carl had an exciting week that included a trip to New York City. He was in Times Square when Aurora, the company he works for, went public. Aurora develops self-driving technology for cars and trucks. 

I hope you are all well.