Two updates diverged in the woods…Some weeks I easily see everything with a glow. Other weeks, not so much. This past week has been a mix so I feel like I could write two very different updates. Here they are one right after the other.
The rough parts first. As I drove home from work on Wednesday the road closest to my street was blocked 3/4 of the way in by a fence put up by a construction company pouring concrete for a driveway. There was no recourse except to do a many-point turn in the minimal space afforded by empty parking spots. There are no driveways at all in block leading to the sole driveway being filled. There was a line of three cars behind me. This is not the widest road to begin with. My car is small and has a good turning radius so how were bigger cars doing it?! This was a potentially dangerous situation and definitely an annoying one. It could have been so easily avoided if the bleeping company had put a “road closed” sign at the entrance to the road. After going around a different way and parking, I walked back to where the work was happening to explain the situation. I thought maybe they just didn’t realize the trouble they were causing. Before I finished speaking I was clearly and rudely dismissed. It was infuriating, and I yelled and screamed to make my points. All to no avail.
Later in the week, I went to Walgreens to get something I needed for my office and I had a very small window of time for my errand. Unfortunately this was also a time when they only had one person at the photo checkout counter to help everyone in the store check out. I waited. There was a couple to one side who had been looking at their photos, and when it was my turn at the counter the cashier said he needed to check them out because they were now ready. Fine. I understand. Then he didn’t have the required change so a manager came over to give him the keys to open a different register for change. Ok. Then the manager stepped in to help the remaining customers. With me standing directly in front of him, right at the counter, with my stuff on the counter, he basically looked over my head and asked who was next. !!! I said that I was, probably with some surprise and assertiveness in my voice. Then he looked at me as if waiting for something. I explained that I had no photo order and it was just the items on the counter because there was no one at the other checkout counters. Why was this so hard to grasp?! GRRRR.
As often happens, I debate about what details to share. Part of me thinks I should just swallow the hard moments or let them go more easily. The other part of me wants to share because I know such sharing is what some people find most helpful and relatable. Mainly, I’m sharing because I’m working at letting it be more ok to be who I actually am. My right hip issues have been getting better as I let my leg be how it wants to be instead of trying to walk “right” in any way. I’m letting myself walk like me.
I know that part of why this week felt hard was just being too busy, and that I need to have more limits on how many things can go in a day. Often when I’m planning a day in advance I may think, “ooh, that’s getting a bit full” but then rationalize that I can make it all happen. And I can. It’s just that it isn’t sustainable to have three days in a row that are totally packed with very little down time, even if they seem to go smoothly. I’m also expecting my period, which basically turns up the volume on things feeling hard and weakens my ability to deal with things well. Also, Carl and I have hardly seen each other lately because of both of us being extra busy. The house feels overrun with piles of intentions and the dumping grounds from the activities of the week. So today is a day to breathe a bit and put things back into some semblance of order so that I feel like I have room to breathe. It isn’t that I need a pristine house. I just need to feel like not every single corner and surface is covered with items tossed there by others who are zooming off to their next thing. And I need it to not be me doing all of the cleaning.
Anyway, now for the better update. One day, Amy wanted the American Girl dolls to have a playdate. Sarah was grumpy as she woke from a nap so the timing wasn’t ideal. Sarah took her doll and knocked into Amy’s dolls. Amy was extremely upset and took her dolls to the hospital for treatment. Later, Sarah went to apologize, but instead a repeat yelling moment occurred. Sarah said she wanted to play doll dominoes. Amy was irate and swore she would never speak to Sarah or play with Sarah ever again in her life. . . . . . . After lunch, Amy attempted to play a new board game in a Sarah-friendly way and suggested they could play book dominoes, helping to set up a line of books to be toppled.
Yesterday Sarah and Amy were at a playground of sorts. Called Ruin Park by some friends, this play area is really an empty lot where people bring toys they no longer want. The kids came home dusty, tired, and ready for showers. I asked Sarah if I could wash her clothes and she easily put them in the hamper. This may seem like normal behavior that one would expect from anyone, but if you know Sarah and her passion for her outfit of choice, you know this is a miracle. Later, without us knowing, she emptied the dryer (onto the floor) and used the stool from her room to give her the boost she needed to fully empty the washer into the dryer, and she started the dryer. While I was slightly concerned at first because there are some items that need to hang dry, this was still a wonderfully independent achievement.
Watching the Olympics has rekindled an interest in gymnastics. Amy orchestrated a gymnastics competition between Sarah, Amy, and Amy’s doll Joss. The other American Girl dolls and I had to be judges. While I don’t like the pressure to rank the contestants, it is great to see them enjoying the activity.
I took the girls for the annual appointments with the eye doctor. They both have perfect vision, but have enjoyed wearing non-prescription play glasses all week.
May you have space for you to be you in all ways.
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