The past few days have felt challenging. Sarah had 3 nights this week of staying up until 10 or 11pm, which meant I was also up later than usual. I don’t know that anything else on Sarah’s side actually changed, but I have had less patience in response to her screaming, whining, and not listening. There are times when I can see her moments as just fleeting moments that will be over soon. There are other times when, in a nano-second, I go from 0 to 100 in my level of annoyance because I feel weighed down by twelve years of screamy struggly moments. This doesn’t mean we didn’t have wonderful times and easy times. It’s just that there were also more times where I yelled louder and longer than the rest of the month. I’m weary of it. I’m weary of knowing that every month I will have a few days where things are just harder and I feel worse about myself in all ways. I know it will pass and I will feel good about everything again, my socks will again go flying, and I will feel capable of doing all of everything. Now just isn’t that moment yet.
On the plus side, one day Sarah took my dry massage sheets out of the dryer and put the wet load of sheets from the washer into the dryer and started the dryer. This was without my knowledge and was truly helpful. On the independent side, but oh-no-really-not-good-and-glad-Amy-told-on-her side, yesterday Sarah went to the basement and got Carl’s drill with a screw driver bit in it. She took it outside and proceeded to make several holes in one of the posts holding up our tree house. I guess all of the times of Carl having Sarah help him with projects have caught up to us (or bit us in the tree house, as it were).
When I was sad yesterday after we had a rough time, Sarah and I just snuggled together. She listened while I cried and she wiped my tears. Then she told me I needed to row (I had told her that was my plan). It was nice to have her endorse that because so often she complains impatiently when I row. Last night Carl and I were out and the sitter said that after the girls were in bed she heard something. She went to investigate and found Sarah on the rowing machine. She does this occasionally but not usually after going to bed.
Amy has been especially wonderful and helpful and independent lately. She continues to run bath time for herself and Sarah. She cleans up the play area more often than she used to. She is truly helpful with grocery shopping. She also got up early yesterday and snuck into the SR room to make a birthday card for Carl. It was the most heart-warming card I have yet seen her produce. 8 is a wonderful age!
An extra thank you to M. who sent me a package of socks after my last update! They fit perfectly and I love them.
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