August 19

We have been going to the pool at my office a lot. I feel like a switch got flipped for Sarah recently and she is just wanting to practice her new things all the time. She continues to jump in ever more independently and to practice her floating. There have been a couple of times when she floated for 10 seconds without my helping her. Usually we only make it to about 5 seconds. She also started walking back and forth with her face tipped into the water and blowing bubbles. She spends time jumping in place and doing large leap-like steps that feel like a precursor to swimming. I’m so grateful that we have this pool where we are often the only people in it. Since it is an outdoor pool we have limited time before it closes for the season so I am motivated to go as often as we can.

In general, times at the pool at my office are easy and fun and we all connect well together. The lifeguard doesn’t believe me that I have times of losing my temper. Ah, but I so do. I have started waking Sarah up a bit earlier each day to prepare for her first day of school a week from tomorrow. Her bus pickup is going to be even earlier than last year, so her shoes need to be on at 6:39. She will need to start waking up at 5:39 because she needs about half an hour to transition through her sleep-grumpiness into being awake and ready to eat and get dressed. Friday morning she was very upset about waking up and then about not having her ideal pair of plaid shorts (that we do not own). After that storm passed, largely thanks to Carl and his patience, there was more upset when I said it was time to get dressed so we could go to a new playground. Sarah was stuck on wanting to watch a show. But they had just watched shows, including an extra bonus show. I requested calmly and nicely many times that she get dressed. On the last time she started stomping her foot in anger, which is when I erupted because what the f?! why can’t she just get dressed for something fun when I ask nicely?! (in her defense, many times she actually does). I know I am nearing my period. I am also in the sloppy feeling area of resenting cleaning up after my small housemates, while also wanting to hold onto these days before school starts and hug my girls forever because soon they will be all grown up and moving out, but so help me God I need school to start soon, but oh no, school will mean stressful mornings and keeping track of papers and who needs what for when, but I am so ready to have more time for myself, but why haven’t I just hired more sitters so I would have that? because I wanted the time to feel like a relaxed summer. I wanted all of this time to do things with my beautiful, snuggly, amazing, temper-ridden, loving, children. Argh. So now I write this and my girls fight upstairs. I know I am lucky to have the time and money to be with them. I feel guilty about dreading a long open day, a day where I will feel buried under the mess of the house but also unable to deal with cleaning it but also it is my job, but wait I never signed up to be a maid, but isn’t that part of being a mom, but but but…. Overall the summer really has felt wonderful and I am truly glad to have prioritized having time with the girls. Last summer passed without my feeling like I really got a relaxed summer with them and this time around I rectified that. I also realize that next summer I may need to have a few more times with sitters when I just get out of the house to exercise or get a massage. My body feels like it is falling apart a bit. When the girls are in school and I am working then it is much easier for me to stick with my eating intentions, but with the summer has come more of an abundance of eating out and getting treats. That feels fun and luxurious but I also think my body is ready for less of such things.

Amy and I watched “Bedknobs and Broomsticks.” At one point she asked about some men in kilts, and I explained what they were wearing. When I told her that you never knew if they would be wearing underpants or not, the look on her face was priceless. 

It amazes me how the girls can fit into shoes that apparently are way too small for them. I realized that Sarah might need new uniform shoes, which led to both girls trying on all of their shoes while I checked toes. They each needed new dress shoes, keanes, rain boots, and Sarah needed school sneakers. In most instances, the new items were 2 sizes larger than what they had been wearing! The new shoes look gigantic.

We want to help Sarah be more physically active on a regular basis so we got a jumping castle that fits in our family room. Both girls love it. Sometimes I feel ridiculous and embarrassed by how much play equipment we have. It is largely driven by a desire for Sarah to have what she needs for optimal development without needing to go elsewhere, or to supplement whatever is elsewhere. 

Take the first train to Johnstown and I’ll meet you at the station…

(Extra credit if you get the reference.) The girls went on their first train trip yesterday, to Johnstown and back, with time to explore while we were there. The train was great and they loved it, until the very end of our morning ride when Sarah felt train-sick and her ears were bothering her. I worried that her ear tubes had come out with all of our pool time and that she had an ear infection, but all seems to be well. We went to a Rite-Aid, which then became our home base for a while. They had a nice bathroom, ibuprofen, Sarah-friendly chocolate bars that I insist on buying whether we need them or not because I want stores to carry them, and an entryway with space for us to park our butts. Carl and Amy went to watch the parade in honor of the Johnstown baseball team. Johnstown has been hosting the All-American Amateur Baseball Association national championship of 21-and-under regional teams from around the country for 74 years and this is the first time that the home team has ever won. Sarah and I sat in the entryway of Rite-Aid until she was feeling better and then we all moved on. We had hot dogs for lunch, explored a little park, and took the bus to the Johnstown Children’s Museum. The museum was wonderful and if we had had time we could have stayed much longer. They had an elaborate pretend kitchen that was heaven for Chef/Waitress Sarah. Amy enjoyed sliding down a tube slide as if she was coal that had been mined. She also went fishing and caught magnetic fish while sitting in a small boat. The Johnstown Incline is the steepest in the world. I was glad I could choose a seat where I just looked at the grass on the hill as we went up. Amy thought it was no fun at all but didn’t want to be where the view was more exciting. As with most of our vacations, parts of the day felt really hard. And, as with most of our vacations, by the end I felt good about the whole day and was so glad we did it.

Tomorrow, Amy starts school. I cannot believe she is already a second grader!! 

Love, trains, snuggles, and entryways to park your butts when you need them.