I’ve been thinking about this question and about how often in my life I notice the little things that don’t go according to my plan or hopes, noticing in essence what went wrong. But I’ve been shifting to noticing a bit more consciously what goes right.
We had lovely visits from my uncle J. and from Grandma.
On Monday at 5pm, Amy started saying her ear hurt. Given that she tells us almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day that something hurts when she so much as bumps an elbow, I didn’t take her seriously at first. After 45 minutes of her crying and following me around like a limp rag, I decided something was wrong enough to warrant a trip to a doctor. Our pediatrician's office was closed by that point, so we went to the Express Care at the Children’s Hospital. Despite Carl being out of town and my thinking that Sonia and my mother-in-law were an hour away, and Amy’s usual car seat being dismantled for washing the puke from our previous trip out of it, my sitter C. was available at basically immediate notice and came over to be with Sarah. Everything went smoothly and we got antibiotics for Amy’s ear infection and she has been totally herself since then. The doctor couldn’t believe that this was Amy’s first time of needing prescription meds ever. Of humorous note, when I tried to give Amy her first dose of medication, she resisted and had to be bribed with chocolate. Meanwhile, Sarah was asking for the medicine. Last night, Amy kept sticking her finger in Sarah’s mouth, pretending to give her medicine.
I taught the Alexander Technique at the massage school again and at first felt very disheartened because the first student with whom I worked basically didn’t want me to be helping her and didn’t see the point in focusing on herself. Inwardly, I wanted to scream and run away. Outwardly, I stuck with it and I know I helped at least a couple of students. What went right? That whole thing was right! I kept thinking about it all and reaffirmed my belief that taking care of myself is the best way to help my clients and Sarah. If I am in contact with someone then who I am is influencing the interaction and what I have to offer. It can’t not influence it. At yesterday’s AT teacher class, my mentor was her usual work of art as she worked with me and coached me. Every move she makes has the utmost thought, care, and awareness of what each part of her is doing and communicating to my body. It makes a difference. Holding it all gently and with peripheral awareness of everything that is going on in me and around me is the way to go. Taking care with my thoughts and my body positioning makes a difference. I want to be that work of art when I work with my clients and with Sarah and our volunteers. (And sometimes it is ok to just not be that work of art because as of now I can’t keep it going all day long and that is ok and part of it all too).
What went right this morning? We had an amazing team meeting. Have I mentioned how much I love these people?! Honestly, I am so blessed to have all of these amazing people in my life and helping me think well about Sarah.
Sarah is more often asking me politely to stop singing, rather than just demanding it.
Sometimes, when she is upset to about 70% I am able to ham it up as if I am totally, playfully distraught too. When she is at 70% or less upset level, then this works and she connects with smiles and delight. When she is past 70% then it doesn’t work and I back off.
I have done a couple sessions with her outside of the SR room but with the full intentionality and presence I bring to the room. I love this solution to getting more official SR time with her when she maybe isn’t in the mood to be in the room. It is really a room in my head, the space of focus, love, intentionality, and flexible play, just as much as it is an actual room.
Sarah and I played several turns of Dominoes in the room.
Out of the room we played an ever-evolving game of Zingo (a kind of Bingo). Usually the chip holder is all-consuming for her attention. As it happened, the chip holder wasn’t with us but the chips and boards were. I asked Sarah if she wanted to go to the Sarah-Rise room. She sat in her small chair at the small table in our dining room and began playing with the Zingo chips in a cup. I wedged my butt into the other small chair and picked up a few chips. I started putting them down while saying the word on them. She did this too. Then I started putting each chip on my forehead, where it stuck thanks to the humidity. She would look at me with delight and say the word. Then we put all the chips in the cup and took turns picking up a chip and seeing if it matched a square on our boards. I love having the freedom, flexibility, and support in my life to take this moment and run with it.
What has gone exceptionally, amazingly right? I have a superb support system for myself and my family. I have a daughter with a temper to rival mine and that helps me continue to notice and iron out my emotional wrinkles. I have a daughter with special needs who continues to learn and grow. I continue to learn and grow. I have many wonderful friends, including those who have been by my emotional side since I was 4. I have 6 supportive parents, counting my in-laws. I have a sister-in-law who is the most amazing helper I can imagine. I have an incredible husband who is an incredible dad to our girls. I have financial support for this whole endeavor. I get to go to Zumba while my girls get to be with their uncle whom they adore or with one of my wonderful sitters. The girls love all of their sitters. I have jobs that I love. I get to read fun books. I get to make and eat good food. Chocolate exists. I feel safe and loved. So many things have gone right that if I were to list them all it would be a novel. Thank you all for being a part of my blessed, right life.
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