Most of this week has involved me self-medicating with food as I try to figure out how to help myself feel nurtured and cared-for. Monday I was on child-duty for about 12 1/2 hrs, with the help of some volunteers with Sarah. It went easily and well overall and yet on Tuesday I noticed myself thinking, "hmm, if I was in the hospital for a few days then I would get to rest and people would take care of me." Red flag! That means I needed to change something right away so I felt more rested/cared for. Ideally, the change would be in my thinking, but while I puzzle through those aspects, I am using chocolate and toast with frosting to help. And they have. And maybe they haven't. I have felt more grumpy overall this week than usual. Maybe it was also having two times that were planned as being Jenny-time that got cancelled without much notice. The circumstances were totally understandable and ok, but I still got quite grumpy about it, probably in a flailing attempt to make sure I would get that Jenny-time. And I have gotten me-time. Two of those times involved going for walks to walk my grump out. And I have arranged for a little bit more regular me-time starting soon. I so appreciate that Carl, Sonia, and the girls see me at my grumpiest and still decide keep me and love me. And that my mom listens lovingly as I grump on the phone and then gently inquires if perhaps there are deeper reasons than those I am blaming for my grumps. These people are keepers!
Another reason that this week involved more emotional eating is that we got the results back from all the bodily output testing we did on Sarah a few weeks ago. I am so glad we did the testing, I know we can totally do all the new changes, and yet I am still feeling a bit sad and daunted. The biggest change is that we need to eliminate eggs and all milk products. The milk products had been limited anyway to homemade lactose-free yogurt and one brand of raw cheddar. No more. We also need to increase Sarah's intake of leafy greens and meat. We are increasing her probiotics and will soon give her custom-made vitamin/mineral supplements. Evidently her body has hardly any minerals and is low in vitamin C. She has a leaky gut, which means lots of toxins can get into her body, and she doesn't detox well. Given this new information I am amazed at how well she has been doing. What an uphill body for her body all the time. I am so glad we found this doctor to help us. In addition to her expertise, I think she has great kindness.
I recorded a Sarah-Rise session recently, which I haven't done in ages. I have yet to watch it because of some computer space issues, but I noticed that I became a little more creative than I sometimes am in my sessions. Whenever I am recording or being observed I up my game a little bit. Part of our play involved making pretend milk shakes. I started squeezing one milk carton and making noises as if it was a nearly empty bottle of chocolate syrup. Sarah cracked up at my noises and after many encouraging prompts that she make noises too, she did! Her face was one of the cutest things I have ever seen when she tried to make her first empty bottle noise. We won't have that recorded because her back was to the camera, but at least my heart recorded it.
We have been doing art projects! For our field trip this week, we went to the Center for Creative Reuse and stocked up on various supplies including two large wooden bears and a bag of buttons. When we got home, I got out the glue and the girls made Button Bears. I had been leery of art projects and the possible mess. It is going more smoothly than I could have dreamed. The girls love them and sit patiently at the small table that I set up in the dining room, waiting for many minutes while I gather whatever supplies they need for their project. So far this week they have made Button Bears, painted bears, painted clothespin dolls, dot-painted papers, and crayon colored pages. We have also done a little with pressing dough onto laminated letter cards from the Handwriting Without Tears materials.
Yesterday, Carl was preparing to build a trellis to put in our back yard. Before he cut the bindings on the box, Sarah had taken the scissors and started cutting them by herself! One-handed. Without help. This is amaaaaaaaazing!
My Easter victory was the creation of homemade chocolate bunnies! I used cookie cutters placed on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. I made the chocolate from scratch and then poured it over the cookie cutters. A lot leaked out but that just created a bag of chocolate fragments for future baking.
Last night Amy requested that I go in to give her a goodnight kiss. The room was dark and I moved my head slowly toward where I thought her head was. I felt two small hands come up and cup my cheeks. I kissed a small mouth. I heard, "Mom" uttered as if with a sigh of contentment that all was right with the world. And so it is.
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