December 22

Recently the girls had what I consider their first inside joke. I have no idea how it started, but now it has become a family joke and a useful alternative to cursing...."Oh coffee!" The girls were saying this back and forth and giggling for minutes on end. Yesterday when I got mad about something inanimate, Sarah came up next to me and said "oh coffee!" Indeed. 

During one of my SR sessions we did some singing together and I was struck by how much Sarah has progressed, specifically with singing the alphabet. I used to prompt her and then pause, waiting until she started saying each letter before I would chime in slight moment behind her. Now we can actually sing together and it feels real. She also sometimes belts out lines from the "sound that gives me power." A couple of times the girls sang some of "Jingle Bells" together. It is one of the best sounds I've ever heard. There are moments when Sarah is playing by herself and singing to herself, just as Amy does, which feels exciting too.

Some of Sarah's volunteers have been noticing how much her physical play has increased lately. Awesome. Once again I am in awe of this whole Son-Rise Program framework that creates the opportunity for so much creativity to flow into my house. My volunteers come up with such fun ideas!

Sarah and Amy often have moments of playing chase or a sort of tag, running around our downstairs. 

There is such power to focused simplicity. Much of the gift that we are giving to Sarah is time. Time to process our requests, time to respond, time to initiate, time to be herself. Sometimes this can feel like I'm not doing anything. Yes, that is precisely what I am (not) doing. I am getting out of the way. I am inhibiting any urgent prompting. The moments that I (we) do prompt are often directed by our current goals. It means we don't have to try to do everything at once. We work on the current goals for a while and then whether or not there is progress, we reevaluate and change the goals so that we stay fresh. It is so exciting to realize that almost everything we set as a goal eventually happens. Sometimes within days, sometimes within years. But I love having a framework that helps us focus and move forward without it feeling overwhelming. If it feels overwhelming then that usually means I am trying to climb a mountain with one big step instead of finding the path and taking the first small step.

For the past couple of weeks, especially with Carl away for work, I have dropped my expectations for what I get done in a day way below my normal expectations. There have been many days where I basically did none of Becky's program. It has felt weird, sometimes disappointing, and sometimes liberating. I keep reminding myself that taking a break doesn't mean I can't start it up again at any moment. My biggest goal is to keep my own heart feeling peaceful and happy as much of the time as possible. I can sometimes think that is just a side ingredient, but maybe that is the most important ingredient of all.