November 17

This week involved Sarah opening, reaching, unfastening, and fastening all sorts of things, some of which were new, some of which were old, all of which point to her growing sneakiness and independence. She can now unbuckle the top part of her carseat. She was attempting to open the car door while the car was in motion (child safety locks are engaged). She can unlock both the front and back doors to the house from the inside. She can open the upper cabinet doors in our large built-in cabinet that we use as a place to keep things away from children! She can reach the toothpaste that we thought was out of reach (put there because it is tasty). The crowning moment was after the girls and I had been reading in the family room. Sarah got up and closed the door to the family room and I heard her helping herself to a popsicle (which she can now do, including returning the tray to the freezer). When I got up to check on her I discovered that she had locked me in! Except for the fact that the other end of the room was open. I knew that she could do that lock, but still, I love her intention of sneakiness and the look that she gave me when I came in. It was her calm normal face, but there seemed to be a subtle pride of achievement under the surface. It was a look of knowing that she had been caught and keeping her face extra relaxed to play it cool.

Sarah now gives the most lovely greetings, even if sometimes too often for normal social etiquette. She gives full, connected eye contact and with a sunny wide smile says "hi!" 

We have a new volunteer! She is a friend of one of our current volunteers and will officially begin on Tuesday. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the songs that we sing and move to is called the "Sound that Gives me Power." Sarah often silently mouths the words. Indeed, singing songs in tandem with recordings or other people is still our frontier. Every time we do this song I encourage Sarah to sing it with me. A few days ago she started belting out the word "power" and a few other sounds and words. Awesome!!!

We had a play date on Thursday and there was lots of screaming over toy sharing. At first I was thinking this was a play date fail. Then I realized this is exactly why the play dates are useful. It is important to help the girls work through not getting what they want and having to wait. They already work on this daily with each other and the play date just takes it to the next level.

I feel like I have been down in a valley and have been slowly crawling back up a mountain in terms of my emotions. Sometimes I get trapped by my beliefs that if I just do things the way someone else did (eg. Bears and Samahria or any of the other parents who have achieved miracles) then I will also have a miraculous outcome. What if, just what if, I need to do things the way I do them to get whatever miracle we might get (or have already gotten)? Each kid is different and so each approach is going to be a bit different. Maybe the most helpful thing for Sarah is exactly the program I am running? What if I am just the right person to help her the most by muddling through in my way? True or not, if I think these things then it helps me breath more freely and probably think more clearly about Sarah and the family as a whole. It also helps to look back on our past and see how far we have come instead of just looking at what remains. At one time, just about every thing that Sarah now does seemed to me laughably or cryably unattainable and impossible.

I have also been thinking how wonderful it is that one of my salient qualities is probably one of the most helpful things for engaging Sarah. I am a goofball! My face is really expressive. I am good at being silly, especially when reading books. I don't mind reading the same book a million times. And I really love small, cute things. 

Much love to you all. May you all feel that an integral part of you is being perfectly expressed in some way.