June 16

This past week we got 30 hours.

As I write, Sarah is listening to her latest favorite song "video games" by Lana Del Rey, whose name she pronounces perfectly. Last night we had ratatouille and Sarah pronounced that clearly (with some pauses) too, after a few attempts that weren't quite clear such as "rabbit-too-ee."

This week I had the best drive to the Philly/DE area ever. It wasn't just because I was by myself. I've done the drive countless times by myself. What made this time different was really deciding that it was ok for it to take longer than it maybe needed to and that it was ok to stop often and to go slow behind a truck rather than passing when it didn't feel 100% safe. It felt so good to honor my safety and experience in this way. 

While driving, I listened to a beautiful CD specifically for kids on the autism spectrum. It is called The Kingdom of Should and anyone interested can learn more at http://kingdomofshould.com/

What I appreciated was the loving and respectful way each character with challenges was described, plus the idea that they could each receive help to do their very best. The help was through vision therapy and music therapy, as well as the attitude of "can" instead of "should." There is a companion CD that is designed to help soothe a person to sleep. I started listening on my drive too and then realized that was not a good idea! :)

Overall lately I feel like I'm seeing things more clearly and having happier moments because of it. When I start to feel overwhelmed I pause and ask myself what my task of the present moment is. Simplifying it in such a way really helps me let go of my trying to also plan for two weeks in the future. For example, sometimes when I'm getting a meal ready I can also start thinking about what I will need to pack for our trip to Cape Cod and then I start tightening and tensing and not fully breathing. When I realize that my task is actually just to make juice then I can handle that! To me this is very similar to taking more breaks while driving and allowing it to be ok to reach my destination more slowly.

I have also had many moments of noticing that I am judging something or someone and realizing I don't have to do so for me to be ok. I don't need other people to feel happy for me to be happy. They aren't bad for feeling unhappy. I don't need other people to eat the way I do for it to be ok that I eat the way I do. I feel like I am starting to see ever more space between things where I didn't know there was space. It is very freeing. And it is amazing to me how often these patterns of judgement and fear and tightening happen. It is so very many times a day!

I started reading a new book about the Alexander Technique called Indirect Procedures and it couldn't be a more perfect fit for the Option Process thinking I've been exploring. Instead of saying "my shoulders are tight" one is encouraged to say "I am tightening my shoulders." Language is so important. When we own something then we have the ability to change it. It is all about the use of the self. Not the use of our mind or body, but the use of our whole self. 

The reason for my drive to Delaware was to celebrate my dad's retirement. He is a master teacher. He taught for 42 years, and 37 of those years were teaching 3rd grade at Friends' Central School, outside of Philadelphia. In his room, he built Wright flyers, working grist mill/water wheels, pirate ships, and an early Ford motorcar, among other things. Each spring he built a teepee in his room. Every year the lower school picks a fall project and within the overall theme each teacher decides what they want to do. What I really understood is how similar that approach is to what we aim for with Sarah-Rise. Pick a theme and projects that the kids find interesting and motivating and use that as the way of teaching everything else. The teachers also have a good time, just as we aim to do in our SR time. It was beautiful to be in a teaching community that strives for such excellence via creativity and deep respect for their students. I hope to find such an amazing place for my girls. Throughout my time attending middle and high school there I was often asked, "Are you Mr. Briggs' daughter?" Yes, yes I am!

A few Sarah highlights... playing baseball with her and calling her Batter Wellington while she wore a yellow construction helmet. She did a little balloon hitting and a little running the bases. She was so adorable, especially within the pretend scenario in my head. I had such a blast! She also now enjoys having a pretend crib in the SR room and being tucked in like a baby. Yesterday she started playing with an elephant mask and was walking around downstairs making elephant sounds. She also corrected Amy's pronunciation!  While I am so used to Sarah's speaking I still have daily moments of marvel and delight at hearing her. When I brought her downstairs yesterday we were talking about her milkshake in her thermos and she said "pretty low." The level of the shake was indeed pretty low.

The shakes I create and that Sarah drinks involve some combination of the following: avocado, water, stock, coconut milk, broccoli, green bean, fish, sauerkraut, tomato, spinach, mushroom, turkey, chicken, and/or pork chop! She loves these and asks for them throughout the day.